‘Fifty Shades Freed’: Finally Going to be Freed from this Damn Series

Like many before me, I have read and was beguiled by the “epic” literary series, Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James. Not because it was beautifully written or a completely original piece of work, but because we couldn’t believe how such tawdry, gross, and downright laughable writing could be a world-wide best seller. There is Fanfiction out there that is deeply moving, passionate, and NOT ABUSIVE and yet, people chose this series to catapult into stardom. (Yes, yes, we all know FSG’s origins began on FF.net) And from that garbage fire of Twilight archives, the inevitable film series rose.

The first two films weren’t stellar. It featured Jamie Dornan as the infamous Christian Grey in lackluster and wooden performances that border lined on him basically portraying a serial killer/stalker/f*ckboy. Dakota Johnson played Anastasia Steele, the mousy protagonist who’s deepest desires are unlocked through her introduction into the BDSM world by Mr. Grey. This newest trailer shows the humble beginnings of this series, with Ana literally stumbling into the life of the gazillionaire who jets her off into a world of luxury and ridiculous wealth. This leads to this lavish wedding, in this upcoming third movie. Of course, all of this intertwines with their ultra-erotic sex life.

SIDE NOTE: The sex scenes in the first movie were bland as hell. How the fuck are you going to tease us with juicy steak and lamb ( slightly pink of course), mashed potatoes, gravy, with lambic to drink and all you serve me is day-old turkey that was left out in the sun and warm coconut water? Does that make any sense? The film series, if NOTHING ELSE was supposed to be a panty soaker, but instead you got bored. What the fuck?

This trailer shows Anastasia finally growing into herself, and asserting dominance in her personal life with Christian and within her professional life at a publishing house. I hate to see how it correlates with her marrying this dude and becoming wealthier, etc, essentially stating her success was contingent on her staying connected to this man, but I do like seeing her with more backbone. She’s talking back, not tolerating any bullshit. Good stuff!

Of course, we see creepy ass Jack Hyde, Ana’s former boss, portrayed by Eric Johnson, back at it with that bullshittery. He’s following them around and making threatening phone calls, but the trailer shows promise in Ana possibly shooting this POS down? GUESS WE’LL SEE IN THIS THRILLING CONCLUSION TO THIS NAIL-BITING SERIES. Oh and Mrs. Grey is pregnant. GASPPPPPPPP. SO SHOCKING.

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  • Oona Sura is a cosplay enthusiast with an appreciation for Framboise Lambic, Haruki Murakami, and cats. Catch her at the next anime convention on the East Coast!

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