Season 2/ Episode 3/ HBO

*This recap got more spoilers than Issa got fresh batteries, so….*

I don’t know if we’re picking up from the that ‘tryna fuck’ text at the end of the last episode or nah, but Issa seems to be having a private wine down with a dude we haven’t seen before. First base apparently tickles. Issa over here giggling like a Tickle Me Elmo and that sexy laugh seems to lose it’s sex appeal when the homie tryna smash. Giggling is sexy before foreplay, during and you looking like an emotional liability. Nobody wanna smash Elmo. Nobody. It’s weird because dude is a stranger. His fingers aren’t Lawrence’s or Daniel’s or any fingers you actually know. Get out, girl. Ya shirt on inside out. Don’t go that way. Not that way. Nope… that’s the bedroom. You not smooth at all are you, Issa?

elmo really

The soundtrack transitions on Insecure ain’t no joke. Jump into Issa next day seeing a sound ordinance violation with some Tt the Artist banging and one of them youngins that Kelly was tryna burp at the wine down. Word. Molly following through on Skype with her commitment to helping out at the Chicago office, chattin’ up homie style with Clinton after her other boss hops off the line. Ain’t nothin’ like being the only or one of the only Black persons in an office and finally getting to be real with another Black person in the same or adjacent office. When he hit that “betta not let them hear you” line, listen. Black folks know it’s a thin line between the fields and an office job. I’m just happy to see Molly with someone to relate to at work.

School’s in session for “We’ve Got Y’all” and Frieda back on her equity and equality ish, tryna get Issa to see that the deck is hella stacked in a way that doesn’t full rep the school’s overall ethnic minority population. Where in the hell are the Latinx kids, cause she knows they there. Principal Oil Slick just ain’t about them babies and Frieda and her good heart doesn’t like it one bit. It’s hard to take her side when we know the Sandra Bullock Captain Save ‘EM attitude is real with white feminists, but Frieda is right in this situation. Issa needs to step back and look at the people, not just the numbers. Issa talkin’ about just chill and take the “W,” but I gotta feelin’ she’s going to be catching some L’s real soon if she doesn’t get honest about Oil Slick.

L

 

Lawrence is busy working with cricket ass eating millenials that seem all about hooking up. They try to get Lawrence to roll out to the next one, but it seems Tasha got him making good on that cookout invite. Dude ain’t just get an invite and accept it, he’s bringing the chairs. Chairs sound more like commitment and less like weekend smashing. We all know how serious a cookout invite is and she got you bringing shit? You responsible for something? Lawrence might determine whether or not Nana gets to rest her feet. Dude. Y’all go together. Don’t be tryna flex for these young folks. Molly doing her own kinda flexing with this big ass box. Bastdamn. It’s as tall as she is. Stilettos, skirt and all, Molly got that thing down the steps and to her car on her own, while peepin’ dude carrying a much smaller box for his girl. There’s pride and loneliness wrapped all up in them eyes. Nah, you don’t need no man to carry that box, boo. It also ain’t no lie that you wouldn’t mind having one to carry it, either. Feelings be mad complex.

Later that night, Issa seem to be going all Ikea with Molly, building whatever the hell was in that big ass box. Turns out, Molly has put Therapy Nana on pause until she finds a new therapist. Being able to actually relate to a therapist seems to be too much for Molly. Did she just say that Therapy Nana was projecting her shit onto Molly just cause they both got brown titties? You know what… Issa ain’t feeling that or that damn shelf. Pouring Rossi is a whole lot easier than building shelves, talking about your feelings and tryna heaux. After that giggle fest, we know Issa needs some lessons on getting any kind of groove back. She never got to her thottin’ days, so it seems like this may be her chance. Since Lawrence has made it clear that he’s done, Issa is hella open to exploring her heauxtendencies and having Molly as her coach. The world is Issa’s supermarket and she bout to find some eggplant (and cucumbers and bananas and… peen).

team me how to hoe

Let Molly’s charm school lessons begin. Issa out her on some sexy Inspector Gadget type shit lookin’ parched. Molly ain’t holdin’ back on letting her know, either. Issa tries to flip it and says they need to go somewhere where they’re the exotic ones and Molly…. dammit Molly says “Des Moines” with the straightest ass face ever. I’d be so mad at her, but this woman don’t bite her tongue for shit. Issa don’t seem to know how to go out either. You can’t be eggplant shopping and tryna get a catfish basket. Who wanna smash fish breath? We know places like that keeping fish grease for a few days, so it’s gonna be strong. When Issa actually tries hollerin’ at some dudes though, it is painfully wrought with awkwardness. Her game is as bad as an 8th season of Trueblood knowing we can’t ever have Lafayette again. Issa’s game is worse than the idea of a Lion King live action remake, like Lion King isn’t the one of the best and longest running shows on Broadway. Her game is wack. Molly ain’t even trying and got somebody looking ready to risk it all for her. He shooting his shot and got that good business card to let you know this ain’t no jump off kinda night. I want Issa to shoot her shot, too. I just need her to actually have an arsenal first.

molly and issa out

Meanwhile, Tasha and Lawrence cozied up in bed. Tasha running down the family cookout shenanigans in a headscarf and baggy sweats to let Lawrence know it’s real. As in really not happening tonight. Visual cues and all, he tried to shoot his shot and got blocked by How To Get Away With Murder. Lawrence is about to learn how to got to sleep with blue balls. I see you, Tasha. Issa is about to get the same lesson. You ain’t got no rechargeable batteries, sis? Most vibes stay charged with a good universal usb cord nowadays, I’mma need you to find that good Groupon or Amazon lightning deal. Always keep one on the ready when you single.

Next day, Molly throwing good office shade to privileged overpaid frat boy doing the bare minimum. My girl is working two jobs and he playing her like Chicago’s office is a vacay. Issa and Frieda are meeting with the boss at We Got Y’all and everything is looking peachy on the outside. Principal Oil Slick giving good reports and Frieda keeps tryna hint at the demographic disparity but she can’t get a word in between all the accolades. What I didn’t expect was to see Molly chatting it up with ole dude from the club. He swiped that business card and made good on them seven digits. I’m not mad at all. They cute, too and he keep shootin’ his shot. Slid that application to Molly quite swiftly. Talkin’ about “I’ll work for you.” He tryna be BAE. Molly on some “Swiper no swiping” cause she dodged that got right to getting more info on his actual job title. He took that to the chin and still stayed planting seeds. Dude ain’t tryna be BAE, he tryna find wifey. We gonna have to keep an eye on this one.

sliding
Sliding into Molly’s subconscious DMs with a smile.

 

Cookout time and Lawrence is dragging in chairs looking just like the awkward new bf. Play uncle already knows his name, he getting clowned by the cousin in the good memorial airbrushed white tee and wheeling in granny from the elderly transit van when he caught that good commitment cramp. He looking around at Tasha’s family. Sis playing the flute and twerkin’ to Mask Off. Cookout is lit and yeah, this lookin’ like a ship L-Breezy. He got ghost on Tasha as soon as the work peeps hit him up. He know he just needs to tell Tasha he ain’t about this life. Molly grabbing some good after brunch date cupcakes when she runs into some old friends. Sister greek shade thrown so you know the love is there and Molly got the admiration of love eyes for the couple and all of their cuteness.

Instead of cupcakes, Issa looking like she’s about to drown her sorrows in paint to cover up that burned wall from the party. She straight up looking out the window at young dude like he a snack, tho. Molly calls to run down the brunch date and all her hesitations about Lionel. It’s Sterling K. Brown’s chocolate ass, don’t be comparing him to nobody else, Molly. Plus when you had a dude that didn’t have a five year plan, you didn’t want that either. Remember Mr. Enterprise? Issa let her know she just met male Molly. Yeah, he want a wifey as bad as you wanted to be one last season, #issamatch. Then Issa damn near died off paint fumes and I, myself, am dead.

Lawrence at Startup Saturday for his “work thing” looking like he just finished playing Escape Room and it looks like Issa done caught a second wind. She going down to Eddie’s? With a phone charger? That’s your game, Issa and this who you ’bout to play with? You don’t smoke, sis. Lawrence dodging Tasha and this cookout via text. Buying shots and solidifying his dating status. Issa on Eddie’s bouch couch watchin’ white folks “do they thang” on Gossip Girl to buy some time before getting them drawls (we all know that’s what she came here for, right? Right? Ok). This flip flop between Lawrence and Issa’s evening is looking like an awkward game of booty tag.

Will Issa get some? Is Lawrence going back to the cookout? Did Issa say even if it’s wack she can still get some [insert proper emoji here]… did she just bump Eddie in the head? He don’t even know how to unbutton her jeans or take off his own A-shirt, but got the never to ask to do some ta-ta play? He did ask, tho. She did respectfully decline. This gotta be the worst sex scene ever…. or at least since Monster Ball. That shit was gross. This is just… juvenile.

bumped heads

Issa found her groove and it looks like Molly’s found her own groove, too. She’s respectfully declining some SZA tickets and dinner reservations that probably come with a whole lot of expectations while sippin wine and letting white folks build that good book shelf. I had to clap for a sistah on that one. Lawrence still at his ‘work thing’ just now picking up the phone for Tasha and it’s after dark. He made some old lame excuse about not coming back because he didn’t want a DUI. Baaaaabyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, when Tasha went in on Lawrence? I was on the edge of my seat like “let have!!!”

popcorn

Lawrence: *cues Erykah Badu’s Other Side of the Game* See, I just got outta relationship.
Tasha: You playing with me?
Lawrence: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-
Tasha: Quit acting like you give a f-ck about what I want. I knew what it was and then your tried to act like it was more. Lemme tell you about yourself…
Lawrence: Whoa, Tasha-
Tasha: You a f-ckboi. You the worst kinda f-ckboi. You the f-ckboi that thinks he’s a good dude. You ugly. You your daddy’s son.

lemonade car smash

Lawrence tucked his tail and went back to the party and Issa got her charger and got out. She came (hehehe), she saw (that dude had his charger and knew what she was about the whole time), she conquered (her fear of bike riding). Issa got a little pep in her step when she left out of Eddie’s place and a little smile on her face when she got that hook up DM. Her groove is back and now it’s on and poppin’.

poppin lipstick

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  • TY

    Mannnn, How did my man L “Act like it was more” ? Women are so confused, lol So you knew it was just sex..cool? so does that mean he’s supposed to only bang you out, not speak, not smile at you, not ask you anything, just come over drop it off then roll..? Just because a man treats you like a human being in a booty call situation, doesn’t make him a jerk, or a fukboi…..yall done switched the meaning of that word to mean..nigga that doesn’t feel about me the way he should…:)

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