Into The Badlands Recap: Palm Of The Iron Fox

Season: 2 / Episode: 4 / AMC

***Spoilers be trying to get into the Olympic Speed Trials With their Father Chasing Them***

And you say Clipp City!!!

Maaaaannnn, listen. Quinn’s League of Shadows is gearing up for the jig and Veil Da Fictional Bae is like, “Yo, Quinn, good death luck on your hopefully suicide mission. But I’m gonna need the keys to the tower so I can escape this hell hole give Henny Rock more sunlight”. Quinn, like, “Yo, of course. Let me just set up Edgar, the human nanny cam right quick.”

At the Conclave, Widow getting laced in that Cersei “I think I might kill a whole building worth of muthafuckas today” raven attire. Waldo’s like, word, we bout to make some great looking corpses.

Maaaannnn, Widow came through with the slo-motion club entrance on these heauxs. This shit lookin’ like a G-Unit video circa 2004. You can just see Widow doing the 50 cent mumble singing “I’m Supposed to die tonight” when she rollin’ through.

I’m in the ‘clave//and I keep hearing Barons sayin//I’m supposed to die tonight//Ryder put a hit out//and we actin like the shit, ok?//I’m down to ride tonight.

Waldo downstairs looking at the entrees like, we barely got electricity in this bish and you trying to hit me with the jellyfish? Fuck outta here. But the server is Gabriel, the boy with the Quinn tattoo. Your boy undercover doing that Hitman infiltration.

Widow saddles up next to Baron Chau, and Chau is basically looking at all these Y chromosomes in disgust. But that was just an appetizer. She finally hit Widow with a side of that imposter syndrome, like, “Check it White feminism, you married into power, then put a knife in the back of the throne. Meanwhile, I was in the gym getting these shots up, making sure my handle was tight and playing that full court press defensive on my sisters.” Widow is claps back with, “Yeah, but my husband was a monster.” Chau is like, “I know, he was a down ass baron doe…” I’m guessing the stats on domestic abuse reporting in Baron Chau’s territories lookin’ like the Fall of Saigon.

Waldo come in and save that shit from getting Steve Spicer talking in front of people uncomfortable and asks for a moment with his Baron. Widow feeling mad inadequate after Chau told her “she ain’t earned this thug life” and wants to know if they can do this without Chau’s vote.

Waldo: Nah, B.

She gotta win over Chau or this shit is basically over before it got started.

Back at the Widow’s conservatory, Tilda holding down the fort. Odessa gives her the morning brief and says she wants Tilda to train her. Tilda like, nah, ma dukes got me doing this desk job bullshit. Dessa like, oh…I just thought you weren’t hungry any more since you got old man Waldo eating your sack lunch and shit. Tilda tried to dead this shit and Dessa like, “I THOUGHT WE WAS FEMINISTS UP IN HERE BUT THIS SHIT LOOK MAD PATRIARCHAL UNDER THE FACADE IF YOU ASK A BISH LIKE ME…respectfully, Regent.”

M.K. still sulking around the temple lookin’ like a magenta Sith apprentice. He finds some of that herb and crumble that shit to get back to the mirror world. He finds his ma dukes in a hut, bleeding out. She on some, I forgive you shit. Of course, MK can’t figure out how his mom got that sleepy time tea, but Darth MK is like, “come on playa…you know we did that shit.” Then your mans Darth MK drop kicks dude once and your boy MK fell out like an old lady after the holy spirit left her.

Veil Da Fictional Bae pull up to the kitchen and Nanny Cam Edgar is preparing breakfast. Veil is like, Yo, Henny Rock need his daily dose of Vitamin D in the moon room and shit.” Edgar lets her in and Veil got the Dark Knight grappling hook hidden away. Nah, tonight’s the night we blow this shit Henny Rock. We bout to Shawshank the fuck outta this rope, fam.

Gabriel still deep under cover when Jade catches him in the hallway on some, real recognize real, but you lookin’ pretty unfamiliar. Gabriel says he filled in for someone that got sick and spent all his time preparing. And we thought Jade was a mastermind…damn fam. She fell for that shit mad quick. I really wanted her to be like, “you ain’t no waiter Jay Reed”, but she was probably just happy to see a hard working White dude pull himself up by his bootstraps.

Gabriel make his way downstairs to the bird cage and your dude sends a raven dove to the rest of the League of Shadows, letting them know this shit bout to go down. Quinn, sees that it’s go time and starts reflecting on how fathers and sons disappoint each other. Dude having a hard time knowing he bout to see Ryder again when Ryder legit stated a coup on him.

Also, Marton Csokas as Quinn fucking killed this role this week. He’s always solid, but Quinn is usually over the top and prophesying. But this week, you see that legit conflict for how this shit bout to go down every frame in dude’s face. Kilt. It.

Back at the Lazarus Pit Adjacent, Veil trying to get this Tubman on and man…it ain’t going so great. I ain’t bout to blame Veil though. I don’t know how quickly you go back to rope climbing after you deliver a baby, but I’m guessing Veil was still in the window of “sit your ass down and let your uterus return to a manageable size before you start trying to climb out of the pit Bane is from” postpartum. She try to make the climb, and since she didn’t have a prison full of muthafuckas cheering for her, she ain’t make it fam (next time, you gotta try without the rope). Nanny Cam Edgar know something ain’t right and unlocks the door to find Veil nursing Henny Rock. Perv.

Well, time for Plan B. Gotta give Edgar that green tea with the narcotic chaser. And apparently not the bottle of cocaine that was right next to it. Fam. They got cocaine…in a bottle? Is that like a box wine? I have…so many questions.

Nanny Cam Edgar fixing what looks like the most elaborate stone soup concocted. He didn’t even notice that Veil slipped him a mickey. But yo, Veil out here with the low cut Gaia on talkin’ with that slow sweetness. I mean…it’s distracting. Can’t really really fault Edgar too much on that. Edgar start waxing poetically about Sunny and Veil is like… “Fam, I’m trying to escape this shit, I ain’t really trying to indulge this sadness about my baby daddy not being here right now.” Riiiiiight about then, that Pulp Fiction start kickin’ in Edgar’s blood stream and Veil tell him that he’ll wake up in an hour or so. Buuuutttt…he would’ve been better off not waking up for several hours as it turns out.

At the ‘Clave, Widow meets privately with Baron Chau and tries to sway her vote. Chau is like, “Yo, the real problem is you trying to abolish slavery and I gotta protect my interest.” Gotdamit Chau, I realllllly wanted to like you. Now, I gotta vote for Hillary again. Chau makes Widow promise that she can no longer provide a sanctuary for Cogs and she’ll support Widow.

Widow up in the room with Waldo like nah nah nah, but Waldo is like, “Fam, you gotta compromise some shit or gain nothing at all.”

Veil grabs Henny Rock and makes a break for the gate. But….it’s locked. Edgar got the masterlock with the Run-DMC chain across that shit. Henny Rock is fed up. Dude been bounced around on a climb and now being laid down by the gate while his mom make a gotdamn racket trying to break the lock. He legit is fed up. Veil trying to break the lock, but Nanny Cam Edgar grabs the rod out her hand and tosses her back. Veil. Fictional. Bae. THAT SHIT WAS SUPPOSED TO LAST AN HOUR. It’s been like 4 minutes. Its been like one episode of DC Super Girls Fam. I sat a stop light longer than that this morning. That’s like someone saying they gonna make you a meal from scratch and then you hear the beep of the microwave from the kitchen. Gotdamn Bae. Should’ve gave this dude the bottle of cocaine.

Nanny Cam Edgar tried to choke Veil out be she eventually gets free and results in her going fucking Joker to Gabriel’s Jason Todd with the lead pipe.

She legit splattered Nanny Cam Edgar’s secrets, desires and ambitions all over the wall, man. Too bad in the middle of all that, the key broke off in the lock. Veil damn near having a break down bout this shit cuz ain’t no clear way out.

At the ‘Clave, Widow spittin’ her shit to the rest of the barons. Talkin’ about Quinn took the oil fields from the husband (I killed) and therefore, all I did was come back up in the spot and retrieve my property. Then she says she’s gonna stop providing the underground railroad to runaway cogs. Ryder is like fuck that she lyin’. Ryder really sat up there and made a Make the Badlands Great Again speech, fam.

Gabriel go down to the cellar and straight merks one of the guards to the underground entrance. Maaaaan, Quinn came down that tunnel lookin’ like Solomon Grundy, fam. Born on a Monday and all that. League behind him with the swords out and ready to get this shit jumpin’.

Conclave finally votes and ayebody votes against the Widow. Even Baron Chau aka Calvin Candie’s punk ass.

Clave is sayin, “Aiight, Widow, you been voted off the island. You got 48 hours to leave.” Widow in her B-Girl stance with Waldo by her side lookin’ like the most fire mixtape cover of 2017. She like, “Yeah, y’all muthafuckas gonna have to kill me first.” Ryder, is like, “Well you ain’t said nothing but a word” and pulls out his sword. Yo…listen. I know dude is trying. Like really hard. But seeing Ryder pull out the sword and twirl into a ready position is like watching an awkward kid try to cuss around the cool kids when the words don’t even fit in their fuckin’ mouth fam. Legit audible laugh on that shit.

Waldo: Maybe we chill on this?”

[Baron’s pull out their weapons]

Waldo: Ok, but fuck me though, right?

Widow is like, “So this is cute and all, but you know I got the Shikamaru back up plans right? You know I got that godfather contingency plans where if I don’t make it back alive, y’all families gonna get that long goodnight in this muthafucka, right?” And as if this shit wasn’t already at fever pitch, Quinn’s League of Shadow Bros came up in the party too?

Maaaaaaan, DON’T CALL ME BARON, QUINN STRAIGHT UP WALKED UP IN THERE LIKE THE BADDEST MUTHAFUCKA WALKING MY GAWD. He lookin’ at Baron’s on some I know what you did last summer, and it wasn’t attending my funeral, type shit.

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Quinn is the for real boogeyman cuz everybody acting like they saw a ghost, fam. Quinn talking to Ryder like, one, you out here lying on your sword. Two, you took my wife as your own. Three, is that my jacket muthafucka? Gotdamn, the first two are bad, but now you just being disrespectful. And…Ryder runs. LIKE A STRAIGHT PUNK. Through a window fam. Like, that should could not have looked weaker if he tripped and fell in some sandals first.

Quinn gives the kill order and shit start poppin’ off. Barons out here giving folks work and Waldo holding shit down with the chain too. Widow finally squares off with Chau and the footwork is amazing.

Shit is so hard in the anti-Iron Fist out here fam. Waldo bout to get that Deathstroke treatment when Tilda come in with the flying Monarch star and saves him. She toss the godsteel to Widow so she can finish Chau’s regent. Yo, the Navy Blue Squad is in full force and THESE BARON MUTHAFUCKAS DON’T WANT NO TROUBLE.

Chau is like, “Aiight, well fuck this then.” and bounces like everybody else.

Quinn hunting down Ryder and comes across Jade. Jade is like, I know. You ain’t even gotta say shit. I know that your son is punk. But, baby, don’t I look fly at least? Ryder is for real trying to enter the Speed Force to get away from Quinn.

He running through the maze from the Shining and shit and Quinn taking his sweet time cuz being a punk saps your stamina and Ryder gonna run out of steam eventually. Quinn gives a great speech about them standing before the statue of Cronos and how his children were destined to betray him. Ryder is like, “Nah, you got that wrong, its Laocoon.” Quinn, is like, “Oh word. I guess if you spent more time working on your sword game and less reading about Greek Mythology, you wouldn’t be pissing down your leg right now? But yo, at least your got some mythical history right that will absolutely not save your life right now. Good on you, Ryder.”

Man…Quinn really didn’t want it like this man. Quinn was legit trying to legitimize his punk ass, undeserving son man. Ryder had about 17 opportunities to kill Quinn uncontested, but he ain’t built for this shit, man. He can wear daddy’s clothes, but that’s about it fam. Quinn basically mercy killed Ryder cuz he wasn’t gonna last much longer running a territory in the Badlands, yo. Ryder dead as fuck at the base of a statue whose sons were once killed as a punishment against the father. Yeah…yeah…

…yeah…

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  • William is the Editor-In-Chief, leader of the Black Knights and father of the Avatar. With Korra's attitude, not the other one.

  • Show Comments

  • Kwan78

    Man, listen your reviews on ITTBL are excellent. This is one of the best shows on TV. I only have one problem, why do we have to wait so long for your reviews. Also if you could do a review of the new show Rebel. These is the site I have waited damn near my whole life for. Be easy.

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