You know how much it messed me up to see Arwen Undómiel and Michael Corvin get terrorized by a bunch of killer ass-clowns in $1.99 masks in the middle of nowhere back in the original The Strangers in 2008? Shit, one of The Strangers didn’t even have a mask, they just grabbed a burlap sack out of a Whole Foods warehouse and painted the town red. The ambiguous villains, in an isolated environment, 99% set AT NIGHT, made for a terrifying film. Who isn’t petrified of being home alone at night, minding your own business, when out of nowhere you hear someone knocking? Soon after, you see some dude in a mask taunting you. They’re basically saying, “You’re going to die, but I’m here to fuck with you until whenever.” They’re running around outside, swinging on swings, playing 50s music, preparing to slow-dance on your grave. All of that pretty much happened on-screen (minus the dancing on your grave part). It was scary as hell, okay?!

Flash forward to now, where we finally get the sequel we don’t really need. In The Strangers II, we see that The Strangers have a new target — a regular family of four, staying in a trailer for a random moment in time. It doesn’t take long for this cookie-cutter group to realize that they’re not alone in the park, and it might cost them their lives to get out of it. Much like its predecessor, the three murderous strangers psychologically torture the hapless family before turning to physical threats.

Christina Hendricks, of Mad Men and Firefly, is the leading matriarch. Given the stronger characters she’s played in the past, I wouldn’t be shocked if we see some spark out of her character in the movie midway through. If the trailer is any indication, hopefully these four people will actively fight against their stalkers. I wouldn’t mind seeing a bit of Saffron come out and destroy these bastards. Martin Henderson, Baliee Madison, and Lewis Pullman all join Hendricks, so maybe this crew will surprise us and send these wannabe Jabbawockeez packing.

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  • Oona Sura is a cosplay enthusiast with an appreciation for Framboise Lambic, Haruki Murakami, and cats. Catch her at the next anime convention on the East Coast!

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