We’re back again for the the first time in Central City (see what I did there) right where Barry left off in a pause before heading to the morgue. He gets a rush of deja vu before realizing he actually traveled back in time. He goes up in the morgue like Scott Pilgrim after he got that extra life and came back for Gideon’s head the second time.
Barry: Water sprinklers are off, victim was killed by hail, there’s a recording…
Joe West: A recording of wha-
Eddie: We got a recording from the break-in.
Barry: It’s Mark Mardon. He’s out for revenge…. also Wes’ girlfriend dies on How To Get Away With Murder.
Joe: How did you kn– Wait they killed Rebecca??!?!
Eddie: FUCKING SPOILERS ALLEN! COME ON MAN.
Back at Star Labs, Wells notices that Barry is finishing folks’ sentences all unsubtle like and calls him into the back. He knows Barry done fucked up and broke through time. Not wanting to hear any spoilers about the future, he tells Barry to just go through the day the exact same as he did last time. EXACTLY! Of course, Barry Allen the Speed God has to deviate a little bit. He joins Joe back at the precinct and realizes that if he doesn’t stop Mardon, Joe’s ride will get trashed by lightning (his insurance don’t cover metahuman-induced lightning) and Captain Singh will get paralyzed. Faster than you can say “Fuck that noise” Barry runs and finds Mardon in his hideout. My man has his feet up reading the newspaper while trying to come up with ideas for his latest Storm fanfic when Barry busts down the door (waving no four-four) and locks his ass in jail.
Wells is unimpressed by this new record time at catching the villain of the week. He urges Barry once again to stick to the damn plan like (insert Adjustment Bureau reference) and Barry’s like uh-huh sure. When Joe West comes in asking questions, Barry can’t reveal what happened so he just sticks to his usual, “don’t mind the weird guy” routine.
Since Barry caught Mardon, Cisco now has no excuse not to go to his brother Dante’s birthday thing at his parents’ house. He brings Caitlin with him as back-up in case the Ramon parents love Dante, who can do no wrong and live in their basement forever, but Cisco and his science? Pshhhh, what has science ever done for anyone. Dante played (whatever passes for Carnegie Hall) in Central City when he was 9. That boy good. Cisco arrives and it doesn’t take long for Dante to start rubbing the fact that he is the favorite in his face, hitting on Caitlin, and dissing Cisco for staying with Star Labs. Cisco looking at him like “Sooooo, we going celebrate the fact that I moved outta our momma’s basement or nah?”
Meanwhile Barry got his infinity on high and shit. He meets up with Linda Park. She starts talking ’bout how his heart should ache for her. Barry looking around like “Yeah, it’s only been like three episodes, soooo.” Linda peeped awkward and knows Allen is about that Iris West-side highway lane, so she bows out. Barry goes over to invite Iris to the cafe…to talk…y’know….about stuuuuuuff. and …thiiiings. He meets up with Cisco at a bar and they go over their days when the random happens.
Barry meets up with Iris trying to jog those feelings he knows she has for him out, but due to his actions he prevented the very thing which would have made that happen and he just comes off like a mad meninist. Iris dips with the quickness. Next thing Barry knows he’s getting called into Star Labs with Wells talkin bout “Ya boy Snart back …I TOLD YOU THIS SHIT WOULD HAPPEN BUT NOOOOOOOOOO DON’T NOBODY WANNA LISTEN TO THE DUDE WITH THE PHDs!”. Barry arrives on the scene and sees Snart and his sister having a shoot-out at a Santini Family-owned casino. He’s got his cold gun back and Cisco has made a gun for his sister that shoots gold.
@blknrdproblems Thawnes be knocking Barry’s ass out in the past, present AND future like the shit’s a family tradition. #TheFlash #DatFlash
— Oz or Black Rob Lowe (@letsgetfree13) March 25, 2015
Wells finally listens to Barry talk about all the shit that went wrong back in the other time line. Meanwhile Dante finally stops being a dick and tells Cisco he was always jealous of him since way back. He tries to attack Heatwave who is guarding them and gets his ass whooped with the quickness. Heatwave brings that weight down on Cisco as well til Lisa pulls him away. Snart tells Cisco he will let him go cause he likes him and he is smart… oh, but he just wants to know who The Flash is. He gives Dante first-degree frostbite on the fingers as an incentive. Man listen, I woulda said The Flash is Oliver Queen so fucking fast… but that’s me. Cisco then arrives back at Star Labs and tells them what happened.
Cisco: He was going to kill my brother unless I told him who The Flash was. Barry, I’m so-
Barry: Mutha fucka you said my name!?!? Come on you coulda said fucking Roy Harper, won’t nobody miss him. Ughhhhhh, it’s alright, come over here and hug it out man.
Cisco feels he let the team down, so he takes himself off the roster. Wells then hits him with the speech from last episode but minus him stabbing him through the heart with his fists. He tells Cisco all he did was prove that he was human and saved his brother’s life. No one can fault him for that. The gang then figures out that Cold attacked the casino in order to trigger the protocol where transport an even larger quantity of money. As Cold’s gang is attacking the truck (why they couldn’t give Lisa a motorcycle of her own? She was riding shotgun in that lil sidecar while Snart drove the bike. Heatwave had his own tho. Come on man) Barry grabs Snart and pulls him into the woods for a one-on-one chat about how they should proceed from here on out. If Barry takes in Snart, there is a video that will be released revealing his identity to everyone. So this is where the ground rules get laid out for their relationship.
Barry: Dude, find a new line of work?
Snart: No. I like what i do. I rock at it.
Barry: Do it somewhere else?
Snart: Hmmmmmm. No. I like the rent in Central City.
Barry: UGHHHHHH MY GOD! OKAY, JESUS… can you stop killing people then?
Snart: Yeah, I can do that. I’m not an asshole ya know. I don’t believe in civilian casualties, ya feel me? Police wise? Ehhhhhhhh, when they start recognizing that Black Lives Matter I’ll consider not merkin them.
Barry: Yo, that’s fucking fair man. True shit. I’m glad that we did this. Oh you come by my fam and all bets are off and I do to you… Rogues, what the writers of Arrow did to Slade Wilson the Gawd in Season 3.
Snart: That’s ……. cold. Sorry I’d already started to say it and I couldn’t stop myself.
The Rogues angle has been settled now and as for Barry’s personal life, he has to thank Caitlin big time.
Caitlin Snow with the save of the century. Meanwhile, Barry was hanging and talking with Wells back at Star Labs and was about to ask him about that reporter Simon Mason until it was announced that Simon was dead on Black Twitter because #TheyKillSimonDoe was trending. He knew dude was tailing Wells and now homie dead? Little does Barry know that Wells gave him the Kano finisher but he knows enough to shut the fuck up, duck out, and act like he ain’t see shit. He calls up Joe to let ’em know the investigation into Wells is back-the-fuck-on right the-fuck-now.
Bonus Round!
Having a gold gun doesn’t make up for Cold’s sister having to ride in that nerdy ass sidecar. #TheFlash #DatFlash
— Oz or Black Rob Lowe (@letsgetfree13) March 25, 2015
Someone tell me why the Rogues are stealing $$ when Snart’s sister has a GUN THAT SHOOTS GOLD?!? #TheFlash
— Natalie Abrams (@NatalieAbrams) March 25, 2015
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Joseph Assasin Thomas
Flash gonna run back in the woods like “oh – we have your brother”