Spoilers be pullin’ out the blade and cutting into folks to get answers
Season: 1 / Episode: 4 / HBO
Maaaaan, listen. D-Lo out here getting her American Beauty on, bout to burst into cybernetic tears at the mere suggestion of how large and vast and terrifying the world is. She out here free-styling scripture and Bernard is like…yeah, I don’t think we wrote that shit for you fam, so who’s your ghostwriter. But D-Lo out here spittin’ off the top of the dome talking about “something wrong with this world.” Oh word, D-Lo. Something wrong, huh? Bernard is like, yeah, might need to keep your ass distracted with a quest of your own.
D-Lo wake up at the campsite she collapsed at, six shooter in hand. Sweet William watching over her. Man, he probably watched her while she slept. Which would be creepy enough if she were real.
Maeve still trying to make sense of her blending realities and shit. Her Dolby Surround Sound messing up and she seeing the past or some shit, some memory when a bunch of them got murked out. THIS IS ALL BAD FAM. This is like remembering your own birth and shit. You know how traumatic that shit would be?!?! Maeve sees it all doe man. Death. Stasis. Re-animation. All. Bad. Maeve got that tickle like there might be a foreign body in her (perfect) stomach. She drawing pictures of laboratory men like this some close encounters type shit. Apparently, she been drawing these muthafuckas for a grip now? What like, weeks? YEARS? The ranch needs answers, yo.
Elsie trying to explain to Boss-T Theresa about the host bashing in his own dome when he went stray. Boss-T taking over the diagnostics on this and Bernard is like “ok.” OK, fam? Elsie is fed the fuck up cuz Bernard all nonchalant about the shit, but she know he or somebody holding some shit back. Bernard drops the astrological lesson on her (that ain’t Orion my scientist, keep fishing) and bounces without giving her any answers.
After learning that William and his terrible brother-in-law are actually there to assess the park to buy this shit out, we see MIB still dragging Lawrence around by the noose. MIB is on the trail of finding the head of the snake so he can make it to the center of the maze. They roll up on the river and see “The Snake” bathing in the river. Turns out the girl with the Snake Tattoo is the sharpshooter from the massacre in town before. She go by Armistice (Rattlesnake if you nasty) and she’s going to “retrieve something of great value.” Her crew is full, but MIB pull out the roscoe and creates a couple of openings for him and Lawrence. I ain’t trying to promote ultra-violence, but if that’s the way that job vacancies could be created it, the employment rate would stay at zero.
With D-Lo off the reservation, they in the lab watching her movements and decide to bring her in on behavior. They catch up to her in town and try to take her in, but I’m gonna be honest, dude that was sent to retrieve her probably got lucky with William jumping in and claiming they were traveling together. It looked like D-Lo was about to pony express your dude the fade if he kept his hands on her.
Rattlesnake is at a meet with some folks giving her info, which I assume was supposed to be an exchange of information and currency of some sort. Naw, Rattlesnake ain’t havin’ that shit. She off both dudes quicker than either could draw their weapons. MIB nodding in approval from the cliff like damn. And she fine. Get you a posse leader that can do both.
Look man, I know William is smitten and shit, but D-Lo AIN’T STABLE Fam. Like, he remembers that she ain’t supposed to be real, right? Your girl having an existential crisis and talking in parables and shit, but William is like, “There, there. There, there.” Nah fam, this ain’t a “rub your back to make sure everything is ok” situation. This is a “hope you don’t get lost on your way home cuz I can’t have your crazy ass close when I fall asleep” situation.
Maaaaaaan, MIB at the campfire with Rattlesnake’s crew and apparently some newcomers as well. MIB must be a big gotdamn deal outside of Westworld and …a good guy maybe? Dude ran up on him talking about his foundation saved his sister’s life. MIB was like, Oh word. So maybe, go fuck yourself bruh. Nah, he didn’t say that, I embellished that for laughs. What he actually said was “talk to me again and I’ll slit your fucking throat.” That’s verbatim, fam. Like…has MIB been living this shit too long or was he like…ready to murder this dude. Like, real murder. Not send you back to the lab and you’ll be ready for the next storyline murder.
He talkin to Rattlesnake about “Arnold” cuz MIB wants to make this shit more authentic. Yeah man, MIB did not come to play with you heauxs. He says he’ll do the favor and break the dude she wants out of prison if she tells him who did her ink.
They arrive at the prison under some phony transport. Apparently, Lawrence is the most wanted man in three counties. This muthafucka yo? Fa real? Lawrence getting the firing squad while MIB gets locked up with Hector so he can break him out. MIB reading Hector like a book. Well, like, for real. He’s actually seen about 30 versions of Hector so he knows him better than he knows himself. MIB got some pyrotechnics in store and blows open the cell door with the cigar he kept on him. Same one he gave to the deputy which blows the deputy’s face off. They roll out to the yard just in time to stop Lawrence from being executed. Again. We ain’t gonna talk about how the Black Sheriff got gunned down again. Black folk ain’t long for this fictional world, b.
MIB retuns to Rattlesnake’s camp with Hector in tow, so now Rattlesnake gotta give up the goods. She tells them about how her fam got massacred when she was 7 and how she created her tattoo from her mam’s blood and the blood of those that wronged them. Only one left, which apparently is Wyatt. This should be interesting.
Native Americans making their way through town (or leaving it rather) and Maeve sees a toy in one girl’s hand that looks like the masked men that can’t work sleep mode right. In the bar, she sees part of Hector’s crew…or remembers that shit from a previous time. She knows some shit about to go down.
Bernard and Boss-T up in Bernard’s spot after…relieving some stress. Boss-T is meeting with Doc Ford the next day and Bernard is being gentle, but also like…you don’t really want no problems with Ford luv. You best be prepared.
She ain’t ready doe. She ain’t ready. None of us would be.
Doc’s narrative is just massive and fuckin’ up ayethang, fam. Doc having Boss-T for some lunch on the villa. Doc start running shit down to Boss-T and telling her how him and Arnold differed in their philosophies. Then all the hosts just stop like this is the fuckin’ Matrix fan. Doc out here hitting the stunt button and probably scaring the shit out of Boss-T in the process. Muthafuckas in the field ain’t plowin. Your boy stopped midway through the door to the kitchen. Waiter pouring the wine and the cup literally overfloweth. By the time Boss-T realize she is sitting at the same table and the same chair she did as a child, it’s too fuckin’ late man. This conversation was over 10 minutes ago, Doc just flexin’ at this point. He also knows everything going on at that park, including that Boss-T is giving Bernard the park discount. Doc turns the power back on the drones before asking telling Boss-T to not get in his way.
William and his Dudebro-in-Law are completing the quest of hunting down the outlaws and they enter the building blazing. They take out everybody to find the dude with the price on his head.
MIB and Lawrence on the trail to find Wyatt and who do they come upon, the king of L’s, the undisputed take a seat champ, Teddy. Roped up to a gotdamn tree with a buzzard just waiting to start chewing on your boy. Teddy just wants to die but MIB is like, nah…the L’s keep comin’ for you fam.
William and Dudebro-in-Law are talking in their man when he start talking shit about how they can get paid. So Dudebro-in-Law decides to shoot the lawman and take dude up on his offer. I mean, I know he getting his rocks off in Westworld, but something tells me he got some shit on his name in the real world too.
Aaaaaand we’re back to the slaughter and the Black Deputy being the first to go. I think this is where we came in during the first episode. Hector roll up in the saloon, but Maeve been waiting on his ass this time. She wants to know what the fuck is going on with her and you know, every gotdamn thing. Maeve getting answers about the shit she been sketching. Hector giving her some cryptic answers, so she’s like, I need to know the real shit about my former gangsta life when I got shot. She persuades Hector to take the blade to her as the cavalry is at the door. And sure enough, they pull the shell up out her stomach before they get gunned down.
THE JIG IS UP YO. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THE JIG. IS. UP.
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