Orphan Black Recap: The Weight of this Combination

Season: 3 / Episode: 1 / BBC America #ClonesOnClonesOnClones BACK! You know your boy was excited to be home on a Saturday night like

Tatiana Da Gawd is back to play like 14 different people on the cult favorite and season 3 opens with that creepiness. We know that Helena got that hood over the head, carried out against her will to treatment at the end of last season, so we know that this opening looking like the extended credits of Weeds or some shit gotta be fantasy. Helena is having her baby shower in what looks like some Convergence universes or some shit: Sarah from the Sons of Anarchy universe with all that leather, Cosima looking like she just came from Ukrainian story time with the kids

Felix from the Mad Men universe and Alison in the tidy floral print. Which is probably how Alison looks in every universe. Get a good look at Helena in this pink ass dress with all her Sestras around because we probably ain’t seein’ that shit again anytime soon.

So of course, Helena gives birth to a scorpion instead and that joint c-sections its way out of her. Turns out she’s in a pretty small box that looks like what Buffalo Bill would have evolved to keeping people in if he didn’t care about their skin care so much. Oh, that scorpion? Turns out that she and Helena are old friends. From like season one when Helena was going around merkin’ all the other clones on some divine will shit. In other words, this ain’t gonna end well for anybody. Quick shot of Rachel in surgery from when s…