Game of Thrones Recap: Kill The Boy

Season: 5 / Episode: 5 / HBO DAAAAAAAMMMMMNN, yo. Is there any chill to be had in fucking Meereen, fam? Is there one? Can I see ounce of windchill? Grey Worm up in the infirmary with a bandage around his torso keeping his guts on the inside, while Missandei by his bedside, letting them tears fall. Come on yo, I know we lightweight grieving here, but even Missandei’s tears are fine, yo. She looking over her bae like, “please, please, don’t die. There’s like 4 black folk on this show with speaking parts. You cannot leave me with all these white folks alone.” …and that’s the happy side of that coin. Daenerys is crying over Ser Barristan Selmy too, but that’s because Ser Barristan Selmy, one of the best to ever do it, The Medicare Sword in the Dark, is dead as a muthafucka, yo. I’m making jokes, but it’s really to keep from crying because Ser Barristan the Bold was that dude. I’ll always remember the way he threw his sword at Joffrey’s feet and said fuck yo couch on his way out of King’s Landing. Hizdahr comes to pay his respects but Dany is like, yeah, let me stop you right there playa. Ain’t nobody trying to hear that shit today.

Daario hops on the track talking about how they’re gonna hunt down the Sons of the Harpy block by block like he Beanie Siegel or some shit. I’d respect that shit a lot more if this bastard wasn’t probably naked up under Dany or some tavern woman when Grey Worm and Ser Barristan were giving out the time and a half to these Harpy fucks. Dany says to r…