Game of Thrones Recap: The Long Night

Season: 8 / Episode: 3, “The Long Night” / HBO Spoilers be blowing twenty point leads in the fourth quarter. Check the rest of our Thrones recaps here. Maaaaaaaaaan, listen. Shit is mad foreboding. They telling Sam ass to get moving on the wall. Tyrion lookin’ like grim af. Bran look like he been answering phones in a call center for 7 hours of his shift already. But everybody else lookin’ stressed out. They got the dragons out. Unsullied on the front line. The Brienne company ready. Jorah leading a unit with Ghost at the ready. Even the fuckin’ wind getting action. This shit bout to get all the way live. Red Woman Here for the Pre-Game And then…Melisandre aka Yung Canterbury Tales aka What the Fuck You Even Doing Here just appears. She giving Jorah instruction to give to the Dothraki. He lookin’ at her like, they told me I was only dealing with one supernatural creature today. Melisandre roll up on the Dothraki, grips up the cutlery and start gettin’ these Valyrian bars off. She out here going for 100 like Budden on the “No Church in the Wild” beat. When she done, the whole regiment got them flaming swords poppin’ off. It was like when you at a concert and they tell you to put your cell phone lights on for the last song, but this the Dothraki, so the only accessories they carry on them are fuckin’ murder weapons. Melisandre rolls by Grey Worm and yo, I did not realize how much I missed the Valar Morghulis (All Men Must Die) / Valar Dohaeris (All Men Must Server) greetings. I…