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In the history of hip hop there’s nothing more hype than Diddy yelling on a track. Say what you will – he ruined hip hop, he got ghost writers, he still owns 30% of Jadakiss – I don’t care! Look me in the eye, I don’t care, because Diddy yelling on a track is my shit yesterday, today, forever and always. “Hate Me Now”? Flames! “Victory”? Flames! “Don’t Eat”? Lord Jesus save me like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego because I’m trapped in a genjutsu of motherfucking flames!
Listen to that shit. I said listen to it! I fux with Dwayne Johnson hard but give me Diddy’s motivational alarm clock any day, fight me (just let me listen to “Victory” first to get my mind right, bet). And not just songs too, Diddy done ascended to yelling on Instagram, no beats, A Capella, just talking shit to no one in particular but everyone at the same time. Oh yes, that voiceover on Jada’s “Don’t Eat”? That build-up to Jada swinging out the gates, talking ‘bout “Waited for luck, it never landed (naw)”?! That shit was taken from Diddy’s ‘grams ‘cause apparently dude exclusively communicates in motivational speeches. You think I’m talkin’ ’bout some money? N***** on my comments page saying “Damn Diddy, leave some for the rest of us.” YOU DON’T HUSTLE YOU DON’T EAT YOU DON’T HUSTLE YOU DON’T EAT
He was laying in bed! He got his arm up and the camera tilted down like a teenager playing on My Very First Thirst Trap playset just talking shit. Like he literally woke up this morning to talk shit. Like he gott…
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Meet the author
Jordan Calhoun
Jordan Calhoun is a writer in New York City. His forthcoming debut book "Piccolo Is Black" is a celebration of the common adaptations we made while non-diverse pop culture helped us form identities. He holds…
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