An Open Letter to “Undateable Blerd Men”: It’s Not Us, It’s You

Another day partaking in the internet’s favorite pastime: slandering Black women. The favorite 0 Kelvin take: Black women hate Black nerds and this is why I, a Black man and nerd, don’t date Black women. This opinion so cold Mr. Freeze couldn’t hold it without losing a limb to frostbite pops up all the damn time. Full of misogynoir, toxic masculinity, and a level of entitlement that’s over 9000, you’d think we’d have beaten this dead horse to smithereens. One of y’all must be wishing it back on the Dragonballs because this noxious dog whistle keeps coming back. That or hatin’ on Black women gets folks clicks. But you know what, let’s unpack this bullshit once and for all. Now dating on a whole isn’t easy. For anyone. People are complicated and attraction is a random mix of chemistry and compatibility. Plus everyone is looking for something different in a partner and relationship, and those somethings can change at any moment. But I get it. Sometimes acknowledging the complexities of human emotions and relations requires too much brain power. That whole “understanding another person” thing takes a long time — better to make sweeping generalizations about entire races of women rather than see what you might be lacking, because according to everybody, especially relationship geniuses like Steve Harvey, Tyrese, Rev Run, and tweetin-from-my-futon Twitter, women are always the reason relationships aren’t working out. Don’t worry though — this Black woman is here to help you. Here a…