Open Letter to X-Men’s Hellfire Gala: Mutants Own Fashion Now

Dear X-Men, *stands up from seat shouting* I didn’t come to this event dressed to the 9’s in my fancy Timberlands to talk about the political moves y’all making to have Krakoa recognized as a sovereign nation. I didn’t stuff the butterfly shrimp on display into a Ziplock bag to take home just so I could see Charles Xavier and Magneto together being the bad bishes we always knew they could be. Listen, I ain’t wear my good edible underwear here to witness Cyclops, Jean, and Wolverine being in a healthy open/polyamorous relationship living under the same roof. I love that for them tho, and we’ll unpack all that in a different article; however, that is not why I’m here now. I showed the fuck up for the promise of fashion, high-level boujee, and stank attitudes that the Hellfire Gala promised to give.

Ya face gotta be this stank to enter

Emma Frost must have been a FUBU fan cause she really brought back the Hellfire Gala just to have the X-Men and the entire mutant nation of Krakoa show the fuck out. That’s what the fuck I am talking about. Emma out here being the masters of the ceremony too. Now, I’m not sure why Eminem was invited to the Hellfire Gala but Meg Thee Stallion, Rihanna, Dapper Dan, Beyonce, and Billy Porter were nowhere to be seen. See, this is why the X-Men need a team of Black mutants and mutants of color to handle certain affairs. This guest list coulda been way more bumpin’. I’m just saying, if Dr. Strange got an invite then there’s no reason Lil Nas X ain’t…