Taxonomy: Breaking “Thirst” Down To A Fine Science

As we prepare to celebrate the holy trinity of thirst, romance, and last minute shaving, it seems only fitting that we delve into the science of the thirst. All thirst is related, but to truly understand the thirst–to be one with the thirst–we must be able to classify it. Then, and only then, can we master the thirst. Thirst can be divided into three Domains of which all other thirst is a subset: [title type=”h6″] Despite All Odds Thirst:[/title] This is thirst that thrives in extreme environments that should on all accounts dead the thirst. This is that Lucille-Clifton-everyday-something-has-tried-to-kill-me-and-has-failed thirst where you be looking in the mirror at yourself like, “Really, self? Really?” and then try to journal it out in hopes of finding out why. [title type=”h6″] Erryday Thirst:[/title] This is the typical thirst for people in your day-to-day life. This is the thirst you are most likely to quench. [title type=”h6″] Media Thirst:[/title] This encompasses most of the world’s visible thirst. You don’t know these people and you probably won’t ever even be in the same room with these people, but high-key they can still get it (if only they would take it). Knowing the broad divisions of the domains isn’t enough; we need to break the thirst down even further. We need to appreciate the subtle flavors of the thirst like a fine wine, so what follows is a list of the most common species of thirst. Domain: Despite All Odds

Kingdom: Malus Notio: This is thirst tha…