Staff Beef: Why Doug Beats Hey Arnold For Nickelodeon MVP

(Art by Marco D’Alfonso) Like any family, BNP staff writers have their share of spats, and over here we settle them with an ongoing series called Staff Beef. This time, per usual, Taj Williams and I got into a Twitter debate over who would win in a freestyle battle: Arnold from Hey Arnold, or Doug Funnie from Doug. Eventually it evolved into an argument over who held Nickelodeon down hardest, and I’m here to tell you the answer is none other than Doug Funnie. Now don’t get me wrong, I liked Hey Arnold. It was a good show. But come on, b. Doug Funnie? Doug Funnie made it so Arnold was able to eat, man. Doug is still the realest Nicktoon to ever do it. Let’s break this shit down. Man’s Best Friend: First off, Doug is the DMX of the game since his his best friend was Pork Chop. Pork Chop could have gotten his own spin-off show — he was that hilarious. He was the Snoopy to Doug’s Charlie Brown. That’s “get at me dog” off the strength.

Before Finn The Human Dropped Mixtapes on Adventure Time, We had Doug Doug had had the musical talent on lock back in the 90s. No other cartoon was making music and doing parodys of MTV music videos on their show. Remember the think big beat? Remember the bangin’ on a trash can album?

Don’t even make me take it to the their favorite band, The Beets, with that Killer Tofu murder music. No one else put time in the studio like Doug did. He said he was writing in a journal, but that shit was a book of rhymes if we keeping it one hundred. I’ll admit…