Can We Get A Second Chance at the Anne Rice Vampire Chronicles Movies?

Back in the early aughts (like 2001) I was working a boring job as a mattress salesman. Yo, my nerd origin story is complicated, fam. I would spend 8+ hours a day inside of a store with nothing but overpriced and luxury mattresses, all the while fighting the temptation to sleep throughout my shift. Only about 15% of my workday actually included trying to sell someone a $1200 bed, so I spent the rest  of that time surfing the net or reading. I was in a heavy fiction phase at the time and a friend had suggested a book — a large, spider killing book — to help fill up my time. It was titled Memnoch the Devil.

[quote_left]”The Vampire Chronicles are mature books that encompass visceral violence and themes of sexuality (or sensuality more accurately) that are unflinching and absolutely essential to the story.”[/quote_left]I looked at my friend with the same expression you got on a Saturday morning when you answer the door and some overly polite individual shoves a copy of The Watchtower in your face. Before I could even spout my version of “Thanks but no thanks homie,” my friend saw the climate change come over my face and said, “It’s not really biblical, it’s about vampires.” I just stared at her for what must have been a full minute before saying, “I’m not sure that helps that argument.” She further insisted how much I would enjoy it and told me to at least try it, so I left with The Devil firmly planted under arm. Before I had cracked open the cover, I was already thinking ho…