‘Fifty Shades Freed’: Finally Going to be Freed from this Damn Series

Like many before me, I have read and was beguiled by the “epic” literary series, Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James. Not because it was beautifully written or a completely original piece of work, but because we couldn’t believe how such tawdry, gross, and downright laughable writing could be a world-wide best seller. There is Fanfiction out there that is deeply moving, passionate, and NOT ABUSIVE and yet, people chose this series to catapult into stardom. (Yes, yes, we all know FSG’s origins began on FF.net) And from that garbage fire of Twilight archives, the inevitable film series rose.

The first two films weren’t stellar. It featured Jamie Dornan as the infamous Christian Grey in lackluster and wooden performances that border lined on him basically portraying a serial killer/stalker/f*ckboy. Dakota Johnson played Anastasia Steele, the mousy protagonist who’s deepest desires are unlocked through her introduction into the BDSM world by Mr. Grey. This newest trailer shows the humble beginnings of this series, with Ana literally stumbling into the life of the gazillionaire who jets her off into a world of luxury and ridiculous wealth. This leads to this lavish wedding, in this upcoming third movie. Of course, all of this intertwines with their ultra-erotic sex life. SIDE NOTE: The sex scenes in the first movie were bland as hell. How the fuck are you going to tease us with juicy steak and lamb ( slightly pink of course), mashed potatoes, gravy, with lambic to drink and all yo…