Game of Thrones Recap: The House of Black and White

Season: 5 / Episode: 2 / HBO Ok, off rip, let me say, Yes, I have read the books, but no, my recaps aren’t going to devolve into me complaining about what they did different. You know why? Cuz that’s not why you came to BNP. You didn’t come to get that real rap raw so I can do some 3rd grade lesson plan of compare and contrast. That shit is boring, b. Tell your book snob friends on twitter that that shit is boring too. Welcome to Braavos Arya! If you thought the continent of Westeros gave no fucks, then chiiile, listen. Arya flinches at that loud horn and the captain tells her to not be scared. Arya is like, I ain’t scared, you know how many bodies I got on me homie?

She get dropped off at the House of Black and White which is very acutely way the fuck away from everything else. Like that’s not a sign or anything. Arya knocks on the door and Evicted Danny Glover answers the door. Arya hits him with that Valar Morghulis hoping he’ll let her inside. Yo, I need cats to remember that Valar Morghulis means “All Men Must Die” but Arya be saying that shit like it’s “Happy Holidays.” Evicted Danny Glover waves his hand in front of Arya and tells her these are not the assassins she is looking for before closing the door on her. Then Arya sit outside on some Fight Club shit hoping Evicted Danny Glover gonna come back out like Tyler Durden. When that doesn’t happen, she throws that coin in the river and leaves.

Back in Westeros, we check in with Brienne and Pod the Axeman as they rol…