Game of Thrones Recap: The Sons of the Harpy

Season: 5 / Episode: 4 / HBO Spoilers be buried from the chin down with scorpions for neighbors. Ah yes, another #DemThrones with 100 things going on and no chill for any of it. Jorah out here playing Grand Theft Fishing Boat because he still got Tyrion tied up and gagged on some Roman Polanski shit. Jaime and Bronn are sailing on the SS NunyaGotDamnBusiness on their way to Dorne. The great thing about Bronn is that while everyone tries to keep up appearances and talk around the real topics and shit like that, Bronn out here not giving a fuck about your rank, your lot in life, or if you got one hand and a coat with the butter-soft leather probably made out of the skin of dead lords. Jaime says they’re not kidnapping a princess, they’re saving his niece. Bronn like, bruh, we out travelling this far down south, don’t even insult me with this “niece” bullshit you speak of.

Cersei is holding court with her small council, and like I said before, these muthafuckas are terrible. Having Lord Tyrell as a prominent member of your squad is like drafting Don Lemon as a spokesperson for your Black Caucus. But Cersei’s plan isn’t to actually make a good small council, it’s to send them all the fuck away so that she has less people with input on important matters. Yeah, that can’t possibly go wrong. Of course her grand plan is strengthening her hold in the public sector, mainly using the Sparrows as her own guided missile. These dudes were already a fucking problem when when they were just…