Game of Thrones Review: Two Swords

Season 4: Episode 1 Spoilers Ahead THRONESBACKTHRONESBACKTHRONESBACKTHRONESTHRONESBACKTHRONESBACKTHRONESBACKTHRONESBACKTHRONESBACK Aiight, so uh, Game of Thrones is back and of course, Lannisters come back to remind us that they got No Chill whatsoever when in the first scene, they are melting down Ice, Ned Stark’s Valerian Greatsword…   I’m sure there’s some impotence joke about Tywin being older and needing to compensate with two Valerian swords for the fam, but I digress.  We also got to see, that creepy shit back again with “Leans to the Left” Jamie Lannister trying out his new conversation piece in the form of a golden hand on Cersei Baratheon (Lannister). You know her, the Queen Regent.  Or, ya know, his sister.  Y’all remember that right?  I mean, its been a few seasons since we’ve SEEN it, I just wanted to make sure you didn’t forget that for years Jamie was fucking his sister.  Ok, we can move on now. Of course Cersei gonna act all uppity because Jamie is rockin King Tut’s sarcophagus on his right arm; like the royal tail ain’t available now.  Like she ain’t about keepin it in the family anymore.

This was a pretty damn good episode with the two big standouts: the introduction of Oberyn Martell The Bastard Seeding Based Gawd and the buddy cop adventures of Sergeant Hound and Detective Arya “Needle Work” Stark. First, Oberyn was cast perfectly. He even resurrected the gorgeous Indira Varma to come back and have dominatinon sex with everyone in King’s Landing….