Me and The Walking Dead Haven’t Been to Red Lobster in Years

We all have that one friend in an ain’t shit relationship. They stay fighting and forgiving, breaking up and reconciling, wasting everybody’s time – most especially their own. Allow me to reintroduce myself, I’m your ain’t shit friend. I should break up with The Walking Dead. I know it. My friends know it. You know it. Every other person watching the show (and predicting what’s going to happen next) knows it. But…

But I can’t bring myself to do it and I’m not sure why. I keep retracing my steps and trying to figure out exactly when this relationship turned into a dumpster fire. I remember when we were young and so naïve. Rick’s not even old enough to shave in this picture [divider type=”space_thin”]It’s been a long time since me and TWD did dumb shit that happy couples do like wearing roller skates during the muhfucking zombie apocalypse and giggling. Seriously, what is even happening here? Unless you are on your way to a derby, what are you doing? They’ve just made themselves into a really portable meal. But still, that shit is really adorbs. [divider type=”space_thin”]Nope, that’s that first season writers-still-fresh-and-source-material-stilll-offering-up-mad-possibilities type love. We past that now. We too deep in the kill-all-the-black-men-and-villainize-or-gasight-light-the-women phase. So why am I still here? That’s simple I think:[title type=”h6″]1. Didn’t we almost have it all?[/title]Maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s the nostalgia factor. I keep thinking that maybe we’l…