‘Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins’ Review

TRIGGER WARNING: Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins has multiple CGI snake scenes “Now you know. And knowing is half the battle!” That was the iconic tagline at the end of every episode of the classic 80s cartoon, G.I. Joe. Each week the Joes – a team of elite military heroes – would face off against the evil terrorist organization known as Cobra (gotta love that pro-military propaganda, kids!). But after watching Paramount’s Snake Eyes: G.I. Origins, the latest live-action G.I. Joe adaptation, I still don’t know if we’ll ever get the adaptation we deserve. Same Ol’ G Written by Evan Spiliotopoulos, Joe Shrapnel, and Anna Waterhouse, Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins serves as a hard reboot of the live-action franchise with a new cast separate from its widely panned (but commercially successful) predecessors. This time, we enter the Joe universe via Snake Eyes (Henry Golding). He’s a hunky-yet-brooding man earning a living as an underground fighter years after his father was murdered by a mysterious group led by a man with an affinity for dice. Believe it or not, that’s where Snake Eyes draws his codename.

Snake Eyes rules the underground fight circuit.

After another bout where he obliterates the competition, Snake Eyes meets the mysterious Kenta (Takehiro Hira). The dubious Kenta recruits Snake Eyes for a dangerous mission in exchange for the location of the man who killed his father. But the arrangement leaves our main character caught between warring ninja clan groups, internationa…