TWD: Who We Are and Who We Want to Be

I never imagined myself as a mother. I don’t particularly like children: they’re loud and dirty and have no understanding of personal space. Overall, the idea of children seemed an unpleasant one. Fast forward to me getting a sonogram and finding out I was having twins because of course I was. Because the universe’s sense of humor is razor sharp and just as dangerous.

This dilemma—me ill-equipped, unprepared, and generally in shock about parenting—was on my mind as I watched the last two episodes of The Walking Dead because parent/teacher conferences were looming. When I think about my children, I think a lot about how they’ve changed me and in what ways. I’m often at odds with myself: who I was tense against who I am tense against who I want to be. So, even though I’m not sure why Rick and Daryl are being presented the way they are—at odds over the ideas of right and wrong—their conflict struck me. In some ways, it feels like an abrupt change. Rick, who scared off a person begging for food from Carl and then scolded Carl for even considering helping the man, is suddenly… softer. Maybe it’s his encounter with Morales as he and Daryl search for guns at one of the Saviour’s outposts. Maybe it’s his desire to be different than Negan. None of that is exactly convincing since Rick started the season by saying something along the lines of “I’m gonna count to 10 and then start shooting” and dude made it to 7 before he started lighting it up. He and his people went there to kill Neg…