An Open Letter to Kefla After Goku’s Ultimate Kamehameha, You Will Never Be Forgotten

Dear Kefla, Goku’s Ultimate Kamehameha is the most disrespectful finisher that’s ever happened in entertainment. I’m sorry it happened to you because no matter what you’ve done, no one deserves that. Me, personally? I’d rather die in the ring like Apollo in my “Livin’ In America” shorts than this. I’d rather Cypher pull the head jack and my lights just shut off. I’m inconsolable, but the Bible told me laughter is good medicine, so this is how I must cope knowing that something so embarrassing could ever happen to someone. Anyone. When you were born do you think your parents pictured this?

At least for a moment you were on top of the world. I can only imagine how it felt with your blasts flying wild and one of ‘em trimmed my man’s split ends. Everyone’s already lost their shit when you lost but I’ma do you the favor of pulling off the band-aid, word? Once everybody agrees how terrible this was for you they might advocate so nothing like this happens to anyone ever again. We have to raise awareness so this type of disrespect dies with you as the flagship. I would say this hurts me more than it hurts you, but you of all Saiyans know that’s not true, so let me at least say this can’t be worse than anything that’s already happened to you. Alright, this is for you, fam. *Sets Timer* *DEEP INHALE* KA…

Holy fuck almighty, Goku Tokyo drifted yo shit and merked you up your personal space! Fam, you went from “birds flying high, you know how I feel” to Emma Stone playing Japanese in yo…