I’ve Been Chasing the ‘Witcher 3’ High for Over a Decade, and They Won’t Let Me Quit Them

What is even the word or phrase when you update one of the literal best games of all time? Gamescom is gamescommin’ this week which means, we are being hit with more gaming news that we can probably fathom at one time. New game announcements, trailers for long rumored games, classic re-masters dropping this very week. So why, why, is the biggest headline an “old” game? You know the fuck why. The Witcher 3 hit us not only the jab, but the right cross too.

First, in September of 2027, they are releasing the remastered edition of The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. For those who already own the game (which is all of us, right?!?) this is a free upgrade. And not just like, texture patches homie. Enhanced combat, new magic interactions, updated traversal mechanics and like way too much shit to actually list. The list of improvements look like the dead sea scrolls, fam. This is the part where I remind you that this game first came out in 2016. Two HUGE DLCs, a next-gen updated that hit back in 2022, and now a remaster…Folks still play this game NOW. And they keep…improving it? Smoothing out the lines on the Mona Lisa? That shit is crazy.

But also…they showed the first trailer for the new DLC, Songs of the Past, coming next year. New area, new weapons and mechanics, and a story we think will bridge The Wild Hunt to The Witcher 4 and Ciri’s story (confirmed for 2028). CD Projekt Red talkin’ about this joint supposed to be as big as Blood and Wine aka the DLC that set the standard for current generation DLCs. I mentioned the 2016 thing, right?

I’m not here to gaslight the victims, but there’s a world where CD Projekt Red did not completely fuck up the Cyberpunk 2077 launch; where they bit the bullet, didn’t try to release a super hardware hungry and ambitions game on the last gen hardware out of greed. And sure, even if they launched a more technically sound version in 2020, it still would have gone through plenty of patches and retooling to become what it is now, which is ONE OF THE BEST GAMES IN 20 YEARS. Yes, I said that with my whole chest, by the time we hit 2023 after the Phantom Liberty DLC dropped, Cyberpunk 2077 became one of the best games, eva. Forever eva? Forever eva. Don’t let bitter folks still living in the early 2020s that still have “Blinding Lights” in their Spotify rotation tell you different.

I say that to say…they will always be dogged by perhaps the worst gaming launch of the modern gaming era, or else we would talk about them like Rockstar as far as overall excellence and quality. They love they have shown The Witcher 3, a game they could have left alone after the last DLCs and it would have already been retired as one of the greats…but they keep showing it love.

There are some poor and downtrodden but good people out there that still haven’t played The Witcher 3, and I’m so envious of all 14 of you that might be able to experience the game and the story for the first time as the legit best version of itself. Me? I will be experiencing it again for like…the eighth time or some shit. But we gonna party like it’s the first time y’all. One time on Death March when this update drops. And then again in less than a year from now when Songs of the Past comes through. I would say I can’t wait…but honestly since nothing else feels like Witcher 3…I’ve been waiting fam. I just didn’t realize it.

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