X-Men Origins: Wolverine

‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine’ Was an Underrated Masterpiece That Deserved Better

This film created a much needed path for superhero movies
  • In honor of Deadpool 2 being less than two months away, it’s time to take a look at the film that brought Deadpool to the forefront of the public eye. Back when superhero movies weren’t necessarily the norm. We *Samurai Jack voice* “Gotta go back. Back to the past.” This film explored the origins of one of the most beloved comic book characters of all time. According to IGN, this dude is the fourth greatest superhero of all time, and we all know IGN is always right. Just look at their review of Pokemon Omega Ruby and Sapphire. “Too much water” is right. They couldn’t have had a more accurate evaluation. Who put water in MY Pokemon game? Let’s not get sidetracked here

    Wolverine is that dude, and he’s always been THAT dude since day one. Down since Day-1 Ish. Other movies have tried to portray superheroes and their stories accurately, but they’ve all failed. All but one: X-Men Origins Wolverine. What makes this movie not only the best film ever to portray Deadpool, but also maybe the best superhero movie? Let’s find out.

    X-Men Origins: Wolverine

    Superhero movies have always been hit or miss. Guardians of the Galaxy, Captain America: Winter Soldier, Thor: Ragnarok. These movies don’t hold a candle to Shakespearean-esque classics like The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, The 2015 Fantastic Four Movie, Green Lantern, and Catwoman. These movies not only honored the source material but were also incredibly entertaining and beloved by both comic book readers and first-timers by shifting the source material in an unrecognizable piece of art.

    X-Men Origins: Wolverine takes the formula and multiplies it by 9,000. With this film, you don’t even NEED a source material. Everything veers off the beaten path and it’s BRILLIANT. They looked at the comic books, snorted some powdered Goblin formula and said FUCK IT. They took a leap that no other movie ever has and transformed a character with a distinct look and distinct mannerisms into their own cacophony of beauty: Deadpool, or rather, Weapon X1.

    X-Men Origins: Wolverine

    Films like the animated Hulk Vs. Wolverine and the Deadpool movie have tried to capture the essence of Deadpool but couldn’t quite hit the mark. Although these movies were undoubtedly better overall films with better characters, acting, plotline, accuracy to the source material, and just about any other spect you can think of, X-Men Origins: Wolverine takes the cake for its portrayal of Deadpool.

    During the earlier parts of the film when Deadpool was still Wade Wilson, the movie version of the character was going great. He was witty, cracking jokes at people who could probably kill him in a second and not giving a shit about how he spoke to them. High flying acrobatics and sword skills were put on display for the world to see and we all fell in love with him.

    X-Men Origins: Wolverine

    Then the creators of the movie did something so magical, so mind-boggling that to this day, we still don’t understand why. They sewed his mouth shut, took away his uniform, and turned him into a HIDEOUS MONSTROSITY THAT SHOULD’VE NEVER BEEN PUT ON THIS EARTH. AN ABOMINATION THAT ANY JOJO WOULD THINK IS TOO BIZARRE. I’D RATHER FIGHT MADARA ONE ON ONE THAN SEE THAT SHIT AGAIN. I’D PUNCH JIREN IN THE MOUTH IF IT MEANS THAT I DON’T EVER HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT CREATURE… I mean they turned him into an unrecognizable thing of wonder and bewilderment.

    They infused his swords into his body, made him mute, gave him powers of various mutants and thought “yeah, this is what they want.” They were wrong. It may not have been what we wanted, but it was what we needed. The credits rolled, and some of us were lucky enough to get Deadpool’s, I mean, Weapon X1’s after-credits scene (because this movie was so fantastic and ahead of its time that it had TWO DIFFERENT after credit scenes) and we were hyped up for his return. This movie cemented Deadpool (Weapon X1) as a mainstay in the cinematic universe although it would be almost a decade until we saw him appear again.

    X-Men Origins: Wolverine

    If you got this far without vomiting in your mouth at least three times, you’re stronger than any of us on the staff are. While writing this, I ended up in the Upside Down and stared Ghost Rider in the face for the sins I’ve committed. Android 17 forgive me for I have sinned. Apologies to whoever edits this. I can break the fourth wall too. It’s pretty fun. X-Men Origins: Wolverine may not be a great movie or even a great fanfiction, but it did in fact, bring Deadpool to many viewers who might not have known about him. It might have been the worst tasting spice, but it was essential in creating a meal that millions would enjoy in 2016 with a second course right around the corner.

    Happy April Fools day and to all a good night.

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    X-Men Origins: Wolverine

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    • William Young

      Staff Writer

      Lover of Hamtaro and an eater of Oreos. Careful with what you say about me because I might throw it "Right Back Atcha." That's just a Kirby joke. I speak in references and I'm the awkward guy in the corner at a party. Hit me up if you wanna talk about magical girls in a totally appropriate way.

    • Show Comments

    • Evil Ninja (@EvilNinjaX24)

      Man… man.

      There’s so much wrong with this movie. In addition to what the did to Deadpool, they also turned the Hudsons into seniors FOR NO DISCERNIBLE reason. Also, the DP & Hudsons travesties are the only things I can remember about this turkey. *looks balefully at my X-Men Origins: Wolverine DVD*

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