The ‘Furious 8’ Trailer Dropped and I KNEW THEY’D TAKE THIS SHIT TO THE OCEAN!

AHHHHHHHH! The eighth installment of Fast and Furious proves yet again that this franchise is the best at delivering exactly what their fans want. No experimentation into depth, no trying new things — uh uh — Furious will always be grandiose explosions, cheesy lines about family, and wordplay on “one last ride” that will by no means be the last ride as long as we’ve yet to speed through the rain forest, Middle Earth, or space. We got the ocean now though! And you best believe we called that shit. (See the Official Fast and Furious drinking game and drink responsibly or Furious cliches will most definitely kill you.)

In its first complete film after the passing of Paul Walker, Furious 8, officially titled Fate of the Furious, takes advantage of the broad cast it’s developed since the series gradually developed to include A-list names like Jason Statham and the highest-paid actor in Hollywood, Dwayne Johnson. But of course they were unsatisfied, because Furious’ best asset is its reckless ambition to exaggerate everything to its max, so Fate of the Furious signed two more big names in Charlize Theron and, more unexpectedly, Helen Mirren. Yes, Academy Award Best Actress-winning Charlize Theron, and yes, Academy Award Best Actress-winning Helen Mirren. Those actresses. Acting alongside Tyrese and Ludacris. This is Furious, dammit, anything is possible!

And look at this trailer! Look at it! One of my favorite things about Furious is the film’s unabashed murder of literally cou…