I turned on the PS5 to give people the business get my shit rocked in Marvel Rivals and a logo I haven’t seen in thirty years appears on the screen: the original PlayStation logo. The PS5 tells me that it’s been 30 years of PlayStation. At the moment of writing this, I will be turning 40 years old in a month. Thinking back to 30 years ago feels real “Let’s do the time warp again” but thinking about all the different iterations of the PlayStation over the years. I realize, it’s always been there at these different points in my life. From middle school through college, it has legit been 30 years of PlayStation always being in the entertainment set up waiting to be turned on.
30 Years of PlayStation Gaming
The PlayStation first dropped back in ’95. When I think back to when I first saw the system, I’m 10 years old again. My older sister and brother have come to visit mom. My sister, Kece, is 20 and playing cards with mom (in an hour they goin to be going at it over somebody cheating). Travis, my brother, is 16 years old and the coolest guy in the world to me. He plops down this cardboard case in front of the tv and pulls out this gray boxed console from it. I remember figuring out we had to run the AV cables through my father’s VCR. I think the first game we played was Jet Moto. Why did they make a video game about folks racing on jet skis? Because it was the fucking 90s baby. Keep up. I can’t tell you the number of hours I’ve clocked watching my brother play single play games like Tomb Raider (chasing an urban legend code).
Oddly enough, one of my fondest memories is sitting and watching my brother play Metal Gear Solid. Travis was trying to beat this tank, and I told-advised him to toss a grenade into the open entry point on top of the tank. I got a “shut up Omar,” but when he checked in with HQ in the game for tips, they said the exact same thing I did. When Travis was trying to figure out how to get by infrared lasers, I said, “use your cigarette smoke to see the lasers.” I remembered it being a thing in movies and figured it might work. This time he didn’t tell me shut up. Instead, he checked in with HQ and when they told him the same thing, he acted as if he was HQ and said, “Just listen to your younger brother.” I think I look back on this fondly because, it showed me that I could help out even if I didn’t have a controller in hand.
Now, when I did have a controller in hand? Life couldn’t be any better. I’m younger than my brother by 6 years. Being able to play a two player game is fun, but you ain’t trying to be the weak link. This shit is a performance review. You don’t wanna be the one letting the team down, and when it’s a fighting game you wanna at least be able to compete, right? Travis was real good at fighting games. I’m talking in the lab getting combinations down for difficult moves JUST in case someone wanna step up. That boy loved him some Tekken but the games that stuck out the most to me tho? Battle Arena Toshinden. Listen, that game was so cold. I loved playing Eiji and seeing that blocky ass fireball move across the screen. Travis’ favorite character was a gunslinger named Vermillion. I spent countless hours trying to close the gap from across the stage as he kept jumping in the air to get his shots off.
There was one game though, where the fighting was on a level playing field. That game was Bushido Blade. I’ve always been a fan of swordsmanship. Bushido Blade was bout that action. It was a 3D fighter, but the big difference was if you were hit in a limb, you lost use of that limb during the fight. This game was ahead of its time. You could even run into different stages. So often, my brother and I would be one hit away from death and then just book it. Characters had a projectile they could toss like a kunai or a fan. We’d chase each other and try to nail one another with the projectile for the win. It got to a point where that became the highlight of the fight.
Travis and I also loved the game Road Rash on Sega Genesis, and when it came out on PlayStation, it was a must have. What I remember most is the music from the game and hearing these songs from garage bands that would then later have mainstream success. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t great at playing, but I didn’t care cause I got to play with my brother. If I had to say what game we put the most hours in tho? It must have been Twisted Metal. Travis has always been big into cars and motorcycles. If it has wheels and a motor, he loves it. He even had a dirt bike and raced competitively. Knowing all that, Twisted Metal being his favorite game makes sense. Folks in trucks, cars, and bikes battling it out? We clocked hours in that game.
30 Years of PlayStation Memories
When Travis came to live with us, he didn’t want me playing the PlayStation without his permission. Mind you, I’d come home and see him, his friends having a grand old time playing my Sega Saturn. I’m talking knee slapping and joy in abundance on all their faces. Maaaaan, the first time he was gone back to his dad’s for the weekend and Mom took me with her to Blockbuster Video, I grabbed so many PlayStation games them shits were falling outta my hands. (To my defense, Blockbuster never had Sega Saturn games to rent.) We get home, and I turned that PlayStation on so damn fast. I was playing this horrible 2-D fighting game where you played as different monsters. It was so ass, but it was fun because I got to pick it.
While I was playing, I got this feeling I couldn’t shake – that something I was doing was wrong but I couldn’t quite name it. I said this aloud to my mom. She knew I wasn’t supposed to be playing Travis’ PlayStation. She came out the kitchen, drying a dish, to tell me what I was feeling was guilt. “Oh,” I said to myself… then went right the fuck back to playing that game. Whatever, yo. I’m a younger brother. If you don’t want someone touching your shit, don’t have a younger brother. I’ve never been a good liar cause I don’t like it, and I’m honest to a fault. When Travis got back, I told him what I did. I don’t remember him being mad. I think he just smiled, because 1: he would have done the same thing and 2: because this is what comes with having a younger brother.
My absolute favorite memory is the video game I got my brother for Christmas. Now, I had been wanting roller blades all year (I think cause of Skates from Streets of Rage). My mom took me to Toys R Us, and I remember barely being able to carry the rollerblades. As I walked down the aisle towards my mom, I looked to my right and saw Twisted Metal 2 was out. I told my mom that Travis wanted that game. Mom told me that if I wanted to get that game for him, the skates would have to be for my birthday. To my mother’s surprise, I immediately turned around to put the skates back. When I gave Travis the gift (it was so badly wrapped he removed one piece of tape and the case slid out and hit the floor), Mom came from out the kitchen to make sure he knew what I gave up for him to have that.
When Travis left for the Air Force, I was gaming by myself until I met my childhood friend Phil. Phil and I played wore out our consoles. We had WWF No Mercy on Nintendo 64 working over time. When we went to the video game club after school, everyone was playing the PlayStation’s wrestling games. The WWF Smackdown series. Phil and I were great at tag team matches; it didn’t matter the console. We got that game and learned the mechanics. My favorite moment was that we found games that we liked that were niche. Phil put me onto Dynasty Warriors. The game was featured these legendary Chinese figures in history that were at war. The game was based off the book called, The Romance of the Three Kingdoms, which is a fictionalized retelling of historical events in China (based on some actual sources). In the game, you got to play as these legendary fighters from three separate kingdoms: Shu, Wu, and Wei. You got to play as each warrior and see their stories and participate in the same battles they did. You out here striking down hundreds of enemies at once, stepping to other generals, and completing missions that these characters actually did.
I’ll never forget how Phil sold me on this game. “There’s a dude named Xiahou Dun, right? He was taking folks out and caught an arrow to an eye. He pulls the arrow out, and says, “Essence of my father, blood of my mother. I cannot throw this away.” He eats his eye….and keeps fighting.” I said, hold on… he swallowed his own eye? Why? Phil shrugged his shoulders. I had to know more. I got that game, and he was the first character I picked. It was dope seeing that scene play out and then the evolution of his design in in the sequel games. Dude had a whole bandana over his eye instead of an eye patch on some gangsta shit. I was sold. There so many times after track practice or during the weekends Phil would come over, I’d put the playlist on from the computer, and we’d just get to rocking in Dynasty Warriors. This game was so niche man. We felt like the only ones playing this in the school. We ran into a friend on the way home, and he said, “there’s this dope game I heard of with a bunch of fighters in it. It’s about battles in Chinese history. I think it’s called Dynasty Warriors.” Phil and I yelled with excitement. We were so excited, and Alex was surprised at our reaction but was so glad to see we knew what he was talking about.
It should be mentioned that Alex is Asian, Phil and I are Black, high school kids in New Jersey going crazy over Chinese history. Phil and I were telling Alex that he had to get the game. To this day, we believe the game developers at Koei knew about our excitement of this series somehow and said, “Oh yall fuck with that? Okay. Were going to do the Japanese version of the game and call that shit Samurai Warriors.” Some of the most fun I ever had was just hanging with Phil, taking on waves of enemies just hacking and slashing with square and triangle till we got our musou attack (special attack) meter full and went crazy on the battlefield. What’s crazy is that it’s 2024, and Dynasty Warriors is still being redone and retold. To be alive to see that all these years later and still be able to look forward to it with the same enthusiasm as I had back when I was a teen is… something special.
30 Years Later
Hindsight can be a very sentimental and emotional thing. PlayStation is all about gaming, but there’s moments that don’t involve gaming that I think back on. I’m 15 years old, Mom lifts the PlayStation 2 controller, and I tell her, “Whoa. Mam, do you know what you doing right now?” She’s confused. “Yo, I need you to put that controller down, mam. You picking up that controller means you challenging me. I can’t have that. That controller in your hands means you trying to throw hands…I know you don’t want that. I know you don’t want this.” My mother looked me dead in my face, dropped the broom, and said, “turn it on.” Another time, clear as day, I remember my mom sitting on the couch learning how to use the PlayStation 2 to play DVDs. It was the cutest thing.
I’m 21 years old. The PlayStation 3 is the first console I saved up enough to buy. I’m 35. William Evans and I hand in the final draft for the Black Nerd Problems book of essays. I buy a PlayStation 4 for the house to celebrate. Tasha’s inner gamer resurfaces. We do a Samurai Shodown Tournament every Friday on Twitch with Jordan and his nephews. I cry while playing Ghost of Tsushima. I nervously raid with Will, Kaveh, and Jose in Ghost of Tsushima: Legends. I’m 37. Tasha, Jordan, Tiffie, and I, beat the 7 modifiers in Ghost of Tsushima: Legends. I’m 38. My family is playing Overcooked on PlayStation 5. Kece swears she and I can get the orders out faster than Tasha and her son are. When it’s our turn, I show her how to navigate the controls. For a moment, I look at her and see our mother again…PlayStation controller in hand. I’m 39. I watch my nephew play a fighting game and input the quarter circle forward motion for the first time ever. When his character throws a projectile showing him he did it correctly, I yell “YES!” in sheer pride.
In one month’s time, I will be 40 years old. Hindsight will have me look back on how everything has changed. I’ll turn my PlayStation on, then in the reflection of the tv I’ll see myself over these past 30 years looking back me, and see that through all these years, that excitement to play hasn’t changed.
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