Ayo my Faceless mans and dem. My servant of the Lord of Light work. My breaker of chains and spells. My Kingslayer. My blood of Old Valyria. Yoooooo!! Can I talk my Thrones shit again?!? There is no amount of trailers that can be dropped, theories that can be hypothesized, or hype to be hyped that can stop the Game of Thrones fandom from losing their minds every moment we can get a new piece of footage from the upcoming season(s).
The trailer that just dropped is no different. We talkin’ carnage on a level we ain’t ever seen before, and that’s saying a whole lot when we talkin’ Thrones mythos. We talkin’ war counsels of the utmost savage. We talmbout testing allegiance to see who the silicone fake puppets vs the steel hardened ride or die, get down or lay down brothers in arms. This is the mayhem filled official Game of Thrones trailer for season 7.
Is there a more perfect way to start off a trailer than newly anointed Queen Cersei standing in the center of a gargantuan Westerosi map dropping them surrounded on all sides bars?! Daenerys Targaryen and her 3 fire breathing mufuckin’ dragons sharpening their claws in the East. Jon Snow, the newly anointed King in the North and his hardened by the cold, Old Gods worshiping brawlers descending upon her from the north. Unknown enemies coming from the South.. likely the Tyrells or Martells. Unknown enemies falling on them from the West..likely the pissed other half of the Lannisters, the raiding Greyjoys sailing in for plunder and opportunity or Baelish and the Knights of the Vale coming to pick up where they left off after they made puppy chow outta Ramsay Bolton.
Yo this trailer was real B. They hit us with that Trump World War III hypertension. You got an army? Tell em to arm the fuck up cuz AYEBODY can get the longsword, arakh, dagger, Valyrian steel, warhammer or mace. Thrones always been known for their murder music but Winter is here and it’s officially kill or be killed season in these 7 Kingdom streets. Yo this trailer was real B. They hit us with that Trump World War III hypertension. You got an army? Tell em to arm the fuck up cuz AYEBODY can get the longsword, arakh, dagger, Valyrian steel, warhammer or mace. Thrones always been known for their murder music but Winter is here and it’s officially kill or be killed season in these 7 Kingdom streets.
The Queen Regent ain’t got one 16th of a fuck to give about anybody not named Cersei or Jamie. She low key dismissin’ the family name like people who find out they’re descendants of Hitler, saying they’re the only Lannisters left that count. Ya know, since she Timothy McVeigh’d her uncle and walked away like Frank Underwood after that Zoey Barnes push. She got the Lannister Army (or is it City Watch?) ready for the impending invasion. Jamie on the sideline looking shook as all hell. Yeah, I’m convinced she bout to be murked by valonqar bae.
Khaleesi done hopped off the wooden horse so she could feel that Westeros soil for the first time in her adult life. Got her out here lookin’ like Magneto in X-Men Apocalypse when he shook the whole Earf. She has taken her seat as the ruler of Dragonstone and is ready to break the wheel, as she so famously put it.
[Gif Edit Credit:khaleese ]
You see that boy Tyrion, the other Lannister that counts, frolicking in the countryside with them dragons like a boy playing with a litter of puppies in the backyard? You see that young boy Grey Worm clock in, put in that spear work, bloodbath OT and heartless unfuckwitableness?! Did you see her Dothraki riders hop on top of the horse’s saddle then catapult themselves into the oncoming enemy?! You think that wild ass shit is easy?!
Jon up top in Winterfell brooding, talking that North Remembers shit with his OGs. Sansa in the cut wondering why she ain’t gettin’ all the praise, cuz Littlefinger. There’s some icy action goin down in the middle of a blizzard, possibly North of the wall, but we can’t really make out why. The brave warriors all have their backs to each other and it looks like the White Walkers are officially arriving. But did Bran’s green ass break The Wall spell or nah?!
We see some snippets of the characters we’ve grown to love and despise. Arya plottin on her next kill list victim. Theon gazing off into the distance hoping what is chopped off may never die. Melisandre standing atop what looks like it could be Dragonstone. Could she be joining the Stormborn fiery Mother of Dragons? Ser Davos is the only one using his head, trying to convince everyone that the way they’re all currently headed, there will only be skulls and skeletons to sit atop the Iron Throne. We already got Kellyanne Conway all up in the American oval Throne, so we good on that. Maybe he’ll be the voice of reason that unites the realm against the Walkers.
[ Image Credit: vhalyrians ]
One thing is for sure. The time for character and plot development, random shout outs and references to the books, red herrings and easter eggs are OVA HOVA. We got 13 episodes left on the entire Game of Thrones series plate and every single one is poised to be realm rattling, soul crushing, non-stop action and momentum leading to what many believe will be a battle to save the human race. But before we get to all that, season 7 got this War of Westeros ready to break some jaws, behead some fuck boys, bath some suckers in Dragon fire, and disembowel a few wannabe soldiers looking for glory in all the wrong places.