Book 3: Change / Part V
Benders said Lin couldn’t go back home. You know when I heard that, when I was back, home.
I guess the daughter of Toph, first of her name don’t fuck with LeBron like that, cuz she was not trying to come back to the nest. But idc idc idc cuz all I really need in this world is that Beifong #1 Origin comic, nahmean.
Since Toph was my favorite character in the Last Airbender, I’ve taken a certain liking to Lin, even though she always about two steps a way from going young Magneto on somebody.
Like I said, I loved Toph, but now we know Toph used to GET IT IN. We learn early that Lin has a half-sister named Suyin that has basically founded the Metal City, Zaofu. I say half-sister, because Toph is their mom, but they got different daddies. Which means that Toph either has terrible taste in dudes because they never met their daughters or she was out here steppin that shit out, b!
Just cuz you blind don’t mean you can’t have your own sexual revolution. And even if Toph couldn’t see the baby daddies’ faces, them cats must have had some good genes cuz all of Toph’s kids and grandkids are fine. Toph out here creating daytime soap opera bloodlines, b.
Team Avatar is in Zaofu because there is word that an airbender is there, but Lin wants nothing to do with any of these metal slangin cats. They had to drag her off the damn airship, even though it’s her niece that’s the new airbender. Suyin is like, yo, I am too fine to be giving you curbside service, sis.
And I got like 12 kids. And you interrupted me from rehearsing our new play, Death of Metal Salesman. Sheeeyet, nobody got time for this beef you want to carry. Seriously though, I’m glad at least one of the kingdoms has an art budget. Everywhere else that Team Avatar visits looks like art academies after the liberals lost an election.
Harmonic Convergence inspired one of Suyin’s sons, Huyin to become the shittiest sculptor this side of the Earth Kingdom. Your boy with side swipe cut and teenage angst, this must be the earth kingdom version of Seattle.
Finally, we meet Opal, Suyin’s daughter and new airbender. Korra teachers her how to do figure eights and create a wind tunnel that won’t move her hair out of place.
Back on Air Temple Island, Zaheer hit up sport clips and walked up in the air temple like “looky, I make air move in my hand”. Even with his hair cut and beard chopped off this cat still look like he might have escaped a prison transport truck. Meanwhile Meelo giving out orders like General Patton cuz these new airbenders suck. Be the leaf? Sheeyet, these cats better be greater than terrible first. They stumbling through the gates like Miami Heat fans that got drunk when they found out that they just made Chris Bosh one of the top 5 highest paid players in the league.
I’m just kidding, Miami Heat fans have no idea who Chris Bosh is. Zaheer, goes through the gates like he Gabby Douglass or some shit, except his hair is completely cut off so the black folk with no chill or a tenth of his talent got nothing to complain about.
Back in Zaofu, as the city is closing itself, it occurs to me that if a lightning storm ever crosses the land, AYEBODY is fucked. Mako gotta be the most dangerous muthafucka walkin these Zaofu streets right now. He could turn this city upside-down if he wanted to.
Or he would be the most infamous cats in these streets, if Varrick wasn’t up in this spot.
The hell is HE doin here? Your boy is the Teflon Don. He got Sammy The Bull status, you can’t keep him contained. During dinner, Suyin weighs in on some politics about the Earth Queen, but Lin is FED UP. She leave the room like she allergic to bullshit, ginger infused pea tendril and whatever the fuck else was on the menu.
After dinner, Opal is working on her airbending when Bolin gets super creepy and drops that #NotAllEarthBenders game on her. Of course she calls him out on it without destroying him because feminism is from the Earth my people, its for all of us. They almost kiss, until Korra the bend-blocker roll up on them because she’s got an idea to appease Lin.
Back on Air Temple Island, its after hours and Zaheer is also really good at not minding his own damn business. He finds some more of Guru Laghima’s writing in a locket. Yo, Guru Laghima is like the Candyman of the Avatar universe. Every time Zaheer speaks his name, shit is bout to jump off.
Of course, Kya gets skeptical about this new cat having all this knowledge about airbenders considering the Google servers been mad slow lately and we all know that the wifi on Air Temple Island stay sketchy as hell. She figures out its Zaheer and then she lets that Nile river murda muzik rock.
Maaaaaaan, Listen! Ever since that trailer dropped, the streets been waiting to see Kya drop that mixtape, b. Classics on that joint. Unfortunately its for not because Zaheer and his people ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE. Seriously, can we get a win, even by the smallest scale for the good guys at some point. This shit is stressful.
In Zaofu, Korra brings Opal in to see her aunt Lin. She talks about how much she’s looked forward to meeting Lin and how she hopes to spend time getting to know her and learning from her. Then Lin basically tells her niece to go to hell. Like, on some, What do we tell young girls that want to befriend us:
Opal runs out crying, Korra just yells Cat Lady, Cat Lady at Lin for two straight minutes before leaving, and all that’s left is Lin alone with that single thug tear. Guess we gotta wait another week to find out why Lin joined the Red Lanterns Corps, but I’ll be there front row. All this drama? Sheeeeyet this shit better than Scandal.