It seems like it was only yesterday when we were all watching Goku power up for his Kamehameha attack for eight episodes in a row, but the Z-fighters are back with a brand-new animated feature film.

“Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Gods,” the first Dragon Ball Z animated film in 17 years, takes place after the events of “Dragon Ball Z,” when the Z-fighters defeated Majin Buu (remember, that one dude who was basically an evil Hubba Bubba genie?). Now some big hairless cat dressed in Egyptian garb—supposedly some god of destruction—has come to fight Goku, simply because he’s heard of that one time Goku kicked Frieza’s ass like 20 years ago. Of course, in order to defeat this new boss, named Beerus, Goku will have to level up to whatever the next Super Saiyan category is—which is apparently Super Saiyan God level.

‘Cause his body’s too bubblicious for ya, babe

[divider type=”space_thin”]
Now, DBZ is like a classic to me, and I don’t want to hate on Beerus before even seeing him in action, but I wouldn’t be questioning the new film if Beerus looked like he could throw down like Frieza did before he was demoted to the weakest villain ever. Relatedly, didn’t Beerus get the memo about Frieza losing his villain street cred from years ago? Did he miss when Frieza went cyborg and came back years later with his daddy, threatening to kill the Z-fighters and get his revenge, but then future Trunks came along and just sliced him in half without even mussing a single purple (well, golden, from his Saiyan form, to be exact) hair on his head? After Frieza, there was Cell, the androids and Buu, who were all supposedly much stronger than Frieza. So if Beerus is shocked by Frieza’s death, then how strong can he actually be himself?

Trunks dishing out a plate of whoop-ass to mecha Frieza

[divider type=”space_thin”]
Enough to make Goku level up, apparently. As for his new god status, well, we should’ve known it was coming. Goku has endless reserves of power and just won’t stay dead, so he might as well be a god, because what else do you do after you’re already over 9000? There’s big pimpin’, and then there’s Super Saiyan God pimpin’.

Also, call me old-fashioned, but I like my villains to have some kind of specific plots—world domination, total destruction, etc. But Beerus just seems to be bored and in need of a plaything in the form of a new pink-haired Goku.

Oh and by the way, Goku, I don’t really think pink is your color.

Nope, still not liking the pink

[divider type=”space_thin”]
Either way, I’m certain it can’t be worse than the hot shit storm that was 2009’s “Dragonball Evolution.” Remember that, guys? Yeah, I wish I could forget it.

aka Two Hours of Us Killing Your Childhood

[divider type=”space_thin”]
“Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Gods” comes to select theaters on Aug. 5, 6, 7 and 9. Check out the trailer below and visit for more updates.

  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *