Quarry Recap: “You Don’t Miss Your Water”

Season 1 / Episode 1 / Cinemax Sun, when the opening scene to a tv series is the main character (Mac) coming to on a shore, finding his gun, then merkin’some dude we don’t even know (probably the guy he was just fighting) while dude was restin’ on a tree (probably contemplating his life up till now)? YOU. KNOW. ITS. BOUT. TO. BE. FLAMES. Our Mac draggin’ this now into the water while a giant ass tortoise is watching all this shit go down and Mac lookin’ at’em like, “You might be an endangered species but I can’t leave any witnesses.” That Giant tortise said, “Bet” and turned his head like that cop did in The Town.

Now SNAP BACK TO REALITY and we see Mac coming home from Vietnam with his mans and dem Artie (Marlo the gawd) at a store buying gifts for their wives. Mac is coming home a day early to surprise his wife and Artie trying to tellin’ him that’s some sitcom disaster shit waiting to happen. This dude suggests Mac go with flowers for his wife, and we know this guy is trust worthy cause he looks like a Disco Stu from The Simpsons. Artie’s wife Ruth picks runs through the airport into Artie’s arms like Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard. Ruth hugs Mac sayin, “I ain’t forget about my white husband” we can now breathe easy knowing Artie isn’t problematic and been invited to the cook out for a minute. It’s all great till Ruth hit these cats with the 411 ASAP. “Oh, y’all wore your army clothes huh? Yeaaaaaah, let’s switch that to some Salvation Army clothes cause they not having…