Sex Criminals #7 Review

Matt Fraction & Chip Zdarsky have got to be the Hardy Boyz of this shit. Sex Criminals is that real rap raw.
They do such a good job of bringing real world elements to this fictional reality which makes you cheer and laugh out loud like you’r watching stand up and saying, “yeah yo…it is like that man”. Such accurate description of sex and masturbation that this should should be nominated for health ed…but I digress.

Enter the latest Sex Criminals arc and we start off with Suzie giving us a step by step on what that birth control will do to ya and how it makes you feel. We got a pants rip scene, a food 5 second rule scene and it is gloriously hilarious. Suzie starts catching up with her best friend Rachel (who we haven’t seen in a while) and the dialogue she has with us (the reader) before chiming back into her (real time? fictional time?) conversation is priceless. We see Suzie put her trust back into Rachel as she tells her about… “the quiet”.

Now if you tell me time pauses as when you climax? …. I’ma tell you like Danez Smith told the congregation “Now, I ain’t ever known an orgasm to not be holy” but maaaaan listen, you orgasm that good then I’ma need some proof. What kinda proof you say? Hmm…




Meanwhile Jon done busted into the quiet / cum world and then busted into (break and entering not the former) into Kegel face’s pad. Remember Kegel face is the one that was the head of the operation trying to take Jon and Suzie down. Jon also thinks she got people in high places fucking with him and Suzie. We get a flash back to Jon’s youth explaining how being in “the quiet” made him less shy. We also see the thoughts, decisions, and actions he didn’t take with the rationality behind them. Fraction gave us a good take on rape culture, male privilege and a character coming (no pun intended) to understand how that is wrong. We learn a lot about Jon in his flash back and as we return to the present and Jon discovering Kegel face’s files in her basement (which is sex shopped ouuuuut), he discovers there are more people like them out there… yeah. Oh shit moment engaged.

One of Kegel face’s operatives finds Jon in the basement of Kegel face’s home and Jon immediately recognizes him as the guy that hit him with the dildo… and figures its fucking pay back time. Dude pulls out some kinda sex toy tazer and Jon grabs a (I am not making this up) Darth Maul Double Dildo staff and GIVES HOME BOY THAT WORK!

sx criminals

Jon shows up and confesses everything to Suzie about what he got into that night…. followed up by an, “oh hey Rachel, what up?”



  • Omar Holmon is a content editor that is here to make .gifs, obscure references, and find the correlation between everything Black and Nerdy.

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