Star Trek Beyond: A Fast and Furious Joy Ride Through the Galaxy

[quote_simple]“You spent all this time trying to be your father.
Now you’re wondering just what it means to be you.”[/quote_simple]

Early in this movie, Bones says this to Kirk but really he could be talking to Star Trek Beyond itself. Folks stan harder for this franchise than they do for Ghostbusters and we see how messy that shit got. J.J. Abrams had tough job rebooting Trek in the first place and now Justin Lin’s been dropped into the director’s seat like Gohan facing down Cell. And does your boy deliver!

The Star Trek rebooted universe really hits its stride in this movie. We get to see this crew, this family, in action — and let’s be real, that’s what we all have been waiting for. How do these new incarnations rock with that starship life?

Kudos to writers Simon Pegg and Doug Jung deftly navigating the rough waters between purist fanboy and newbie enthusiast and producing something really enjoyable. They fight the power in a way that doesn’t sabotage the film. I may be a little biased due to my love of Pegg’s Three Flavors Cornnettor trilogy but whatevs, those movies are great. There’s also a moment straight out of Mars Attacks that pleased me deep down in my little blerdy soul. Lin, Pegg, and Jung move Star Trek Beyond along at a brisk, bright, colorful, fun clip. A pace that was, dare I say (I will, I have no shame), fast and furious.

It’s chill at first, and blessedly devoid of lens flares (thank Bast). But when shit hits the fan it gets Chipotle-feast induced gastrointestinal distress bad. Still not as bad as being set upon by the #BeyHive (unless you’re an unnamed crew member, but y’all knew what this was) but it’s definitely turrible. We see characters paired up in some extremely rewarding ways. One is far greater than any of the others and will make you wonder why we haven’t seen these two together sooner.

I will admit, I could’ve used more time with the MinoriTeam of Family-Man Sulu and Uhura (rocking the Ariana Grande half-pony, hey gurl!). We saw Sulu throw down in the first movie and Uhura give a few soldiers a taste of these hands in Beyond but I wanted to see more. I literally wanted to see more of every fight. Clearly, the camera operator on this film was bout that life because every time there’s a fight he forgets he’s filming and jumps in. Either that or, in true WorldStar fashion, he’s too busy hyping the fight to worry about actually capturing it. Newcomer Jaylah hands out fades like potato chips. I assume, from what I could actually see (do better, y’all).

This movie punches you in the eyeballs with some stunning visuals (minus all those muhfuggin lens flares and even if you can’t see the fights). Between that and the booming soundtrack and effects, you gotta hit Imax to watch this one. But if you have vertigo or are easily nauseated, you may just want to try this one in standard or at least get a ginger ale from concessions. At times this movie looks like a roided out version of the infinite stairway showdown from Labyrinth or the hallway fight from Inception. I wouldn’t have made it through in 3D but I also get nauseous on swings so take that as you will.

“Fear of death is what keeps us alive.”

Survival doesn’t feel guaranteed in this film. Death is treated with fear and respect which ups the stakes for the audience. There’s a real sense of danger here that keeps things exciting. Lin makes sure you care about the characters in this movie because they clearly care so much about each other. Plus the actors are obviously having the time of their lives and we feel that. Except for Krall, he’s distractingly clunky. Idris Elba mentioned being uncomfortable in his prosthetics which may be the reason but I haven’t wanted someone to rip off their makeup since Ne-Yo rocked that grill in The Wiz Live. I also wanted to shift Spock’s wig; the asymmetry of that blunt bob with a bang was killing me.

There is a lot of love in this movie. For the source material, for these characters, for this cast. But there’s also a deep passion for the Kelvin Universe created by the reboot. And man, it’s a good time.

Speaking of Starfleet: have you read about the special Star Trek exhibit tour that two of our very own experienced at the Intrepid Sea, Air, and Space Museum in NYC?

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