Met Gala 2018

An Open Letter to Met Gala 2018: Everybody Looks Like Critically Acclaimed Video Game Characters

Listen, I’m not a fashionable dude by any means. I rock fan art shirts, Chuck Taylors and Timbs. That’s all I know. So you’re not going hear me bashing anyone’s sense of style. “But what about that roast on Kayne’s fashion line you did back in” …I said what I said. Now, there’s a special time in the year when the Meta Gala occurs and celebs going the fuck off with designer attire. I stay being here for that.

The Met Gala always has a theme, but you know what, I’m good. I’m not even going to Google what the theme is (since I know someone will complain about it in the comments, it’s “Heavenly Bodies”) because we don’t even need the context. Well, maybe you do, but I don’t because everyone always looks boss. I don’t need the context homie. The majority of the fun is making it your own. That being said, I just want to highlight some of my faves from this years 2018 Met Gala.

*Sets Timer*
*DEEP INHALE*


Zendaya announced as an unlockable character in Soul Calibur 6

Zendaya out here in the Joa of Arc armor and no patriarchy formed against her shall prosper.
Your girl out here looking like the alternate skin for Sigfriend in Soul Calibur (here for it).
Your girl going through metal detectors waiting for someone to try and say shit.
Your girl got the steel piece(s) on her at all times.

If Zendaya don’t stop playing and give us this Knight’s Tale reboot right the Black now.
If Zendaya don’t stop playing with this armor for women that’s actually protective and functional.
How you going to armor for a fashion show that’s better than years of armor for women in all the majority of media?
How your armor got that “maybe she’s born with it, maybe she might just stab a fuckboy” gleam?

I just want to know how many EXP points the armor comes with ’cause my friends and I need a 6th for a raid.
I just want to know if the armor has a “break the glass ceiling” skill tree.
I just wanna know if the tail of the dress doubles as a net.
I need answers!


Chadwick Boseman cast for Desperado Reboot off the strength of this

Met Gala 2018

Chadwick straight up looks like the annoyingly hard final boss of a video game, my dude.
When the final boss of a video game steps out dressed like this, you know you’re getting washed.
When the final boss of a video game steps right out of a Diddy off-white party, you’re done for.
You know how much confidence you gotta have to wear white to a fight? You ain’t beating this man.
When the final boss of a video game got them puffed shoulder pads, you going be here a while.

Chadwick looking like he just leveled up in an anime.
Out here looking like he released his Bankai.
Out here looking like a bounty hunter that I’d wager
could be the from the original concept art for Cowboy Bebop.
Out here looking like he just passed his state alchemy test.
Out here looking like the Holy Water Alchemist.
Out here looking like an admiral in One Piece.


Lena Waithe deliver us!

Met Gala 2018
Listen, if she doesn’t appear on Cloud City as Lando Calrissian’s big Sis.
Off the strength, Lena Waithe celebrating Queer pride and being a Mario Kart Rainbow Road master.
*Pull up to the function with sexual orientation on “And what?” #Legend
This shit too hard for bars honestly.


Meta Gala get real quiet when Rihanna up in this muhfucka

Met Gala 2018

Rihanna literally showed up to bless us serfs!
Rihanna about to cast judgment on all of us my last supper buffet is ready!
Listen, I just want the honor of being ignored by Rihanna while she’s wearing this.

Can we talk about how Rihanna is straight dressed like “Bishop to G5”
Can we get a chess anime starring Rihanna now? That do-able?
Can we get Rihanna as the librarian in a MMORPG?
Can we just admit Rihanna stay being the Final Fantasy game we’re always waiting for?


SZA looks like the fairy godmother that tells you bout yourself

Met Gala 2018
SZA looking like she about to tell her goddaughter the prince is trash.
“You just- you just out here losing glass slippers, girl? Do better.”
“I mean happily ever after is really a state of mind but it’s your wish so”

SZA rocking that magical Black girl edition Top? Chest plate? (I’m going with Chest Plate), tho!
SZA looking like she bartends at all the wizard hang out, but mixes potions instead of drinks.
“You’ll get a buzz, but lose your vision for ten minutes. You down? My girl.”
“Uh-uh, you not going be spillin’ that drink. You know how hard Unicorn fang is to import for that?!”


Bonus Round:

*Time*
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