Season 3 Episode 10

And you say Star City! We’re back on the scene 3 days sans Oliver Queen but the crime rate ain’t stopping just cause he isn’t around. We zoom in on Detective Lace doing 95 on the highway in pursuit of some perps. They’re able to swing an escape from the police but not from your boy Arsenal getting his Road Rash fill on Ollie’s bike (not that he’ll need it any time soon). The perps are like, “Whose the kool-aid man colored side kick?” Roy leading them straight to Diggle who had to don the Green Gawd Arrow Garb ocne again in Oliver’s absence. DIGGLE BENDING THE BOW ON THE BLOCK YO!

Alright so one perp got away. Now don’t you hold Diggle’s aim with Dembows against him. As he said he’s more comfortable letting that nina ring or letting the choppa go *BLOCKA* *BLOCKA* *BLOCKA* (I had to research that sound effect). Luckily Roy with all his arrow overtime he clocked in was able to go capture one dude, and Laurel was later able to throw the book at him in court. Back in the headquarters aka the quiver, ┬áthe team is finding out about the latest villain on the come up. A (whitewashed) dude called Brick. He gettin his cases beat by merkin off the witnesses. While the team disperses to get more intel, we see that they still got hope that Oliver is out there alive. Yeaaaaaaaaaaah about that….

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd! somebody from Team arrow better get Ollie’s ass out the meat locker and set that boy on thaw.

*Flash Back Time*
We back in Hong Kong with Maseo and Pre -32 below the wind chill post morterm Ollie, as they are getting the next mission from Amanda Waller. Maseo’s wife Tatsu has been taken by Chien Na Wei aka China (Not that Chyna) White. Amanda on her Suge Knight shit as she “says, “They’ll get her back and sends Maseo and Ollie on a mission to obtain the alpha part to the omega weapon from a military base. Maseo and Ollie (who brought bows and arrows as his weapon of choice) get their spy shit on. We get to black ops Ollie in action as Maseo shouts out a window for him to break into the facility

YO WHO LET THE BLOOPER REAL IN THE EPISODE YO?!?!? Why Oliver struggling with kicking down a window like the difficulty on expert? I bet his ass was stuck for forever on the water board in Ocarina Of Time. This is not a good look Ollie. He redeems himself later by grabbing the weapon but then he got the arrow point drop on one dude and let him go. Amanda lookin at him like the the king of all fuck boys but he tells Maseo he stuck a gps on dude. That way they can find his wife. Maseo got the “Oh you nice like thaaaaat?” proud face on and probably apologized for laughing his ass off in his ear piece when he was dangling by the window.

We get introduced to Brick as he is pissed off at his goon doing a side mission out in the streets and busting caps at cops. Mutha fuckas trying to be Tommy Vercetti, Cj and the mute guy like this Grand Theft Auto: Star City. He offers dude a chance to escape by handing him a glock. Apparently this is an everyday thing as he tells dude, “Aye, you know the rules merk me and you get to walk out of here.”. My man wanted no parts of brick or (as Oz called’em) his Vince McMahon old man muscles. He got his ass beat to death with straight right hands…

Why all Ollie villains senior Citizens this season tho?

Roy and Diggle arrive at Brick’s place and see it’s already cleared out. All they found was unnamed goon #1’s charred remains and a burn sheet with some numbers on it. They head back to HQ and see Malcolm Merlyn waiting for them. Sun, who been slacking on the fucking security? At this points so many villains been at their hide out that Merlyn had time to write his name on the wall next to “Slade Wilson Was Here” right under “Nyssa Was Up In This too” two rows across from “The Flash Was Here! IMNOTREALLYABADGUYTHOIJUSTSAWABUNCHOFSIGSONTHEWALLANDDIDNTWANNABELEFTOUT” like for real. Someone need to invest in the Sloman Shield.

 

*Diggle intiated Dual Wield* Diggle: You were saying?

Malcolm put his hands up quuuuuuuick. Thea been asking bout Oliver and he came over to tell the team that he probably died facing Ra’s. He gets the “man get the fuck outta here” treatment…so he does. Laurel tells the squad not to believe anything Malcolm says when they inform her about the situation. Malcolm THEN FLIES to where Ollie got his ass whooped

Malcolm: Oh he dead as hell

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and then brings back the blood stained sword Ra’s used to whoop his ass. My question is how he get there and back so damn fast. The fuck kinda frequent flyer miles he got? He knows they goin test it for Ollie’s blood yet still blame Malcolm….cause it technically is his fault but that aint nothing but semantics man. Merlyn said, “Yeah soooo. Sorry for getting your boy killed. I really mean it… I also clogged the toilet and you’re out fruit snacks. PEACE LOSERS!”.

Things as bad as they ever been for team arrow. Felicity realizes Ollie caught the ultimate merk and is back at work for Ray Palmer chewing dude out that his crusade ain’t goin bring back his wife and he just going end up dead. My man Ray was said, “Look you obviously having a moment soooo I’ma go work on my exo-suit and let you handle all this negative energy”. We then see Diggle figure out what Brick has been up to. The files he torched were case numbers for all the folk Team Arrow put away since they arrived on the scene. Brick is going to get rid of all that evidence and sue it as leeway to get his goon squad up.

Diggle and Arsenal run in to stop Brick from fucking up documents. Yoooooooo, this was that in the trenches aciton we been missing maaaaaaaan. Roy was bending the fucking block with boys and Diggle got to let them twin glocks go YAWK YAWK YAWK YAWK facing off against Brick and his peeps!!!! ROY HARPER WAS ON HIS AMERICAN NINJA SHIT!!

Diggle was getting his straffing kills UP. My man was slidding under shit, doing the running man and banging out hollows, then getting his diagonal strafe on letting get hit with that llama spit.

*BONG* *BONG*

 

Brick waits till Diggle runs out before giving him the rush tackle. He kicks his gun over to him saying that same shit from earlier, “If you take me out befo-“. DIGGLE WENT STRAIGHT FOR THE HEADSHOT FINISH….but that didn’t work? The Fuuuuuck? Diggle then proceeds to be on the receiving end of Brick’s imitation Lil’ Mac rapid fire jab attack in SSB4 till Roy puts one in Brick. Apparently arrows work on brick…but not bullets to the head. The physics in Star city weird as fuck man I Dunno.

Brick’s folk manage to escape with the docs as the garage door opens up. Back at HQ Diggle figures that Felicity opened the door on purpose because they were pinned down. Felicity ain’t bout to lose no more friends so she did what she had to do and calls it quits. Walkin out on some real non bae type shit. Come on Felicity…. Laurel drops by and gets the heart to heart with Diggle as it looks like Team Arrow is as dead as Oli-… you know who.

Which is the perfect time for Laurel to try and step out of the lame and into the fame…

Meanwhile on the other side of the world


Maseo: We need to bring Oliver back from the dead.
Mystery guest: Alright, I know what to do. Ollie, CW bout to rename ya show “Black Canary” starring Laurel.
Ollie:nnn…nnNN-NOOOOOOOO! I’M UP! I’M AWAKE! I’M BACK I’M BACK!

That’s right. Tatsu brought Ollie back to life. Look at her face yooo. Tatsu looking like she wanna ask Ollie how he let Ra’s and his old man Ric Flair muscles merk him so easy.

“I brought you back to life to tel you one thing Ollie… Ya sword game is trash”-Tatsu

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  • Omar Holmon is a content editor that is here to make .gifs, obscure references, and find the correlation between everything Black and Nerdy.

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