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This week’s episode of Arrow has the team doing some traveling. After another dead end we find out that Thea has been hanging in Corto Maltese (a fictional South American island in the DC Universe). Ollie intends to head there and bring her back home along with Roy. Diggle was going to finally get some peace but his wife asks him to go with them to check in on an ARGUS agent that hasn’t made contact for a few days. I get being asked to bring back some milk, diapers, or even rent a video from the red box cause the DVR is on the fritz again but to check up on an agent in the Kenny Loggins (DANGER ZONE) side of the world when he just wanna stay at home with his daughter?

Meanwhile back in Starling City. Laurel is investigating an eye witness account of a kid Tom Bronson being at the scene of the crime. If that name sounds familiar then thats because Tom Bronson is the (illegitimate) son of JSA’s Prize Fighter Ted Grant aka Wildcat. That’s right folks Laurel is talking to THEE Ted Grant and he lets her know that Tommy was with him sparring that night. Laurel knows he is lying, which Grant is aware of. Grant isn’t trying to see a kid go down for a dumb mistake. Which is why he runs Wildcat Gym, to give folks a release from the mistakes, the anger and shitty hand the city can deal you. He sees that anger in Laurel and offers her some lessons. She on her stuck up bs tho, ignoring the Grant gospel. Listen, the appearance of the Golden Gloves Gawd Ted Grant on Arrow? This is pretty monumental as DC’s Black Canary was in fact trained by him (among others).

You know I'm going to be an important character because my shirt is off from jump
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You know I’m going to be an important character because my shirt is off from jump

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Back in Corto Maltese it’s the reunion… none of us really cared for.


Ollie finds where Thea has been working, compliments her haircut then asks her to go home. Thea ain’t hearing all that because of all the lies and shielding from the truth that Ollie and their mother did. Ollie helps Diggle as back up while he makes contact with agent Shaw. Shaw informs Diggle that someone is planning to sell ARGUS intel. The intel has agents as well as “soft targets” meaning women and children. Diggle escorts Shaw to where the buy is supposed to be happening but something feels off. I’m pretty sure what tipped Diggle off is that they rolled up to the spot that could turn into a shoot out in the Malibu’s most wanted jeep with no doors or windows.

James Bond wouldn't be caught dead in this bro-mobile man
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James Bond wouldn’t be caught dead in this bro-mobile man

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Diggle then fires the gun Shaw gave him which was empty all along. Shaw hits Diggle with a tazer then steals his transcoder intel off him. Shaw reveals he is the one actually selling the Argus intel, and Diggle just brought him the piece he needed. Shaw runs off and Ollie is too late to catch him. Back at the hotel Diggle tells Lyla what happened.

Lyla said, “daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn… but did you get the milk tho?”. She knows there will be a buyer for Shaw and Argus is working on where that is. Diggle tells Ollie Waller’s team will be too late so they going to handle this. They put the call in to Felicity for that God Mode hacker cheat in order to find out when & where the buy will take place.

Laurel is also asking for Felicity’s help after attending her AA meeting then seeing a woman who has been coming their with bruises for weeks. Each week the bruises get a worse due to her boyfriend. Laurel gets his location and finally decides she is tired of being the wack character each episode. She must have been watching The Raid 2 cause she puts that black ski-mask down on her face then comes out with the “Super Smash Bros. Home Run Bat” trying to do her best bat boy impression. In her head she was going to be all…

I'ma fuck this dude up!
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I’ma fuck this dude up!

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but after three swings, the reality was actually quite different

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I straight got fucked up!
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I straight got fucked up!

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Laurel was no match for dude. He wasn’t even nice with it either, my man looked like a straight beat’em up thug from the first level of Final Fight. You know the guys that don’t even get a name, they just get “Street Thug #2” an like 3 inches of a health bar. Yeah, thats what took Laurel down. Captain Lance sees her in the hospital and is like “Son, you a DA you can’t be out here getting trying to jump cats and getting your ass whooped. Also, why didn’t you use a metal bat or go straight for his knees first?” He makes her promise not to do anything like this again. She complies (you know damn well her fingers crossed). Also, can we just talk about how real the privilege is? Where the DA can just go out and play whack a mole on folk?

ANYWAY. Before going to help out Diggle get the drop on Shaw. Ollie decides to tell Thea the truth. He gives her the warning but she says what really bothers her were the lies about her. We find out the truth is him telling her how Robert, the man that raised her as she were his own kid did not die on the gambit. He was on the raft with Ollie before going out via Kurt Cobain so that Ollie could survive. He ties the bow with “Mom and Dad sacrificed themselves so that we could live”. Ollie says, “Even if you don’t need me. I need you”. I’m so sure the ratings disagree but whatever… that’s me.

(flash back time)
We see that Thea was training with Malcolm Merlyn while she was away. She tried to endure not feeling any pain as Malcolm had when he poured hot wax on himself but she couldn’t bring herself to his level. Malcolm says this is his fault, that he tried to teach her another way but must train her as he was trained. Not father to daughter but teacher to student. He then proceeds to take the training difficulty level from Novice to Death Wish.

Thea: whoa can we go back to wax on wax off please?
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Thea: whoa can we go back to wax on wax off please?

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(Snap back to reality)
Ollie, Roy, and Diggle are staking out Shaw. As it’s time to make with the party pooping. We see Diggle load them twin glocks up, straight Casper Troy face off style with the dual wield unlocked. Ollie pulls out these bow and arrows he made out of the bed post and bed frame from the hotel. Yo, I LOST IT LAUGHING. Shits looked straight up like some lvl. 1 RPG back alley weapon with -891 attack points.
make-miniature-bow-and-arrow-from-household-items.w654
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Apparently the do it yourself arrows did the trick tho as they were able to take down Shaw’s hired militia. We get to see Roy and Ollie display how fists beat M16’s and Ak-47s every time. Ollie gets the intel back while Diggle hunts down Shaw. He manages to get the drop on him buy jumping onto his doorless jeep and pulling him out the drivers seat. What proceeds next is the ass whooping of a life time. Diggle didn’t even get hit as if it was a Steven Seagal movie. He asks Shaw why he would betray Lyla (his friend) for money. Shaw reveals it wasn’t about the money, it was about getting away from Waller. The Wall has him on lock in ARGUS so much that he resorted to this.

Shaw: Foiled by my love of door-less Jeeps!
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Shaw: Foiled by my love of door-less Jeeps!

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Thea tells Malcolm she is going back with Ollie. Malcolm disagrees so Thea wants to prove she is ready to with a sword duel. She bests Malcolm and he lets her go. She asks if he let her win. He just tells her “I’ll see you soon Thea” which translates to “Hell yeah I let you win. I ain’t come back from the dead to get merk’d by you”. We see Thea arrive just in time to make her flight with Team Arrow. We also see some hot coffee get spilled on her which doesn’t even make her flinch (oooooo someone completed some training ooooooo).

We see the abusive boyfriend (that happens to be from Coast City. Home of Green Lantern Hal Jordan) got narc’d on and wind up in jail. Laurel tells Ollie about her attempt to vigilante. When she asks for his training he gives her the “HELL No” response, mostly cause Sarah would never forgive him for it and cause…you know… even with training Laurel your still too lame to don the Canary gear b. Laurel then takes the trip back to Wildcat gym to see the Golden Gloves Gawd Ted Grant who is still willing to gie her those self defense lessons. Felicity requests some time off to see Barry Allen who has been out of his coma for a while. Ray Palmer (now her boss) grants it to her and then starts looking at some interesting files recovered from damaged Queens Consolidated files. These files named… OMAC (the foreshadowing is real yo).

Just when you thought there wasn't more Batman stuff they could Christopher Columbus
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Just when you thought there wasn’t more Batman stuff they could Christopher Columbus

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Thus ends our recap for Arrow this week. oh wait. Yeah there’s one more thing.
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Nyssa Al Ghul back looking for her bae.
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Nyssa Al Ghul back looking for her bae.

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  • Omar Holmon is a content editor that is here to make .gifs, obscure references, and find the correlation between everything Black and Nerdy.

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