Battle to the Bottom: ‘Fantastic Four’ Was Bad, ‘Batman v Superman’ Required a Therapy Appointment

When discussing the worst of the worst the are measures one must take. Parameters, if you will. Those boundaries went out the window when Ja-Quan declared that the Fantastic Four 2015 reboot was worse than Batman v Superman. Which brings us to this installment of Battle to the Bottom (phrasing) because, good sir, I say thee nay. I’m here to set the record straight on that fox news fact. Fantastic Four bad, but Batman v Superman is a whole ‘nother planetary scale of “I spent money on this?”. “That’s how it starts. The fever… the powerlessness that turns good movies ass”

Lemme start this dispute by saying, I never saw the Fantastic Four reboot and I know Batman v Superman is still worse. Three facts tell me it’s the better movie. The fact that, similar to a wild Pokemon, a shirtless Michael B. Jordan appears, There are two Black people in the film, and the runtime. My guy, Fantastic Four is an hour and forty-three minutes in length. Batman vs Superman clocks in at three hours and three minutes. That’s a tough mudder race. I feel like I can rest my case there but you being here means you’re a glutton for “some shit like ‘what the fuck?'” You know when you fast forward through a wack rapper’s verse or edit’em out of the song entirely? That’s Batman v Superman. It’s the rapper that ruins a halfway decent song. When recounting this movie I mentally re-enact scenes from Memento cause on a daily basis, I try to forget that I’ve seen it. I feel like Bucky Barnes being asked for Mis…