Battle to the Bottom: The 2015 ‘Fant4stic Four’ was an abomination compared to ‘Batman v Superman’

I’ve ventured into the deep and come back stronger. What is dead may never die. I saw Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in the theater and fell asleep a few times. Not too long, but juuuuust long enough that I knew the movie was a trash compactor of Zack Snyder’s vision, none of Batman’s ideologies and two and a half hours of Super grimaces. I did not pay to see Fant4stic Four, thank Bast, cuz that viewing would’ve quickly turned into a Night at the Museum Theater fantastic sleepover. Both movies are horrible takes on six of the most iconic comic book characters of all time, but only one can be crowned king of the basura hill. Batman v Superman is really bad…like witnessing DC take a steaming pile of shit on sacred scrolls bad. It was long, dreary, and unappealing, but featured a few dope fight scenes and, more importantly, a fire ass introduction to Wonder Woman. With that in mind, I have to say that Bats v Supes is the better movie. Now, 2015’s Fant4stic Four my G?!

Maaaannnn start the timer!Watching Fantastic Four was like waiting nine months for your first born and birthing a Khaleesi lizard baby.This movie is worse than receiving a dictionary while Trick or Treating.This movie is worse than mayo filled potato salad left out on a 100° day.Worse than the two-party system.Worse than 3rd-grade poetry.Worse than eating dry turkey on white bread with cottonmouth and no condiments or water.This movie is worse than every whitewashed movie ever created (maybe).Worse than Sara…