‘Blade II’ Still Has the Most Disrespectful Superhero Fades My Black Ass Has Ever Seen

Blade is the reason Superhero movies are the new spaghetti western. Tell me I’m wrong, look me in the windows of my soul and tell me differently. Iron Man had to get Blade’s blessing before ushering in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. *Allen Iverson voice* I mean we talking ’bout Blade? Blaaaaade? Wesley Snipes’ Blade series, my vampire? Blade is proof that comic book characters could turn in successful film adaptations on the big screen. Blade II however, *wipes tear away* Blade II is scientific proof that there’s only one way to beat a room full of henchmen’s ass. I done seen some fight scenes in my day but a room full of Edward Cullens getting the stakes beat off’em? Where they do that at? I ain’t ever seen grown ass vampires get defanged on screen before. If you’ve never seen this fight scene it is a must. I just wanna go John Madden on some of the highlights. *Rubs hands together*

No Henchmen’s ass was safe in Blade II

First and foremost, SUPERKIIIIIIIIIIICK! Blade kicked dude so hard the windshield of his riot gear helmet said, “fuck this”. If I’m Henchman #5 and I see Blade channel Shawn Michael’s Superkick on Gary (Henchmen #2) I’m shopping my resume out for a new boss I’m emailing Wilson Fisk, Lex Luthor, Talia Al Ghul, or Black Mariah. Blade legit super kicked dude’s face off before A-Town stomping his head in. Blade American History X’d a man’s facial pattern without a second thought, bruh. Blade gave dude Seth Rollins’ Curb Stomp finisher. Blade out here mosh pit…