Channing Tatum Is Still Going to Be Gambit and Doesn’t Want Me To Be Happy

Twenty-sixteen is looking like a good year for nerds on the big screen. I’m crazy excited to see how Batman vs Superman turns out, the Captain America: Civil War trailer still has everyone going stupid, we’re giving Ryan Reynolds a chance to redeem himself with this Deadpool movie, Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers *cough cough* I mean, X-Men Apocalypse is creeping up on us (y’all know Apocalypse look like Ivan Ooze in the face), and the Joker is making his return to with Suicide Squad. I have so much to look forward to. So much to be proud of. And Channing Tatum wants to take that all away from me. Channing Tatum will be starring as Gambit at a theater near you in October 2016. Now don’t get me wrong — no one is more excited than I am that Remy is getting his own film adaptation. I walked around with a giant stick I found, and a pack of Bicycle playing cards for a large part of my childhood because you couldn’t tell me Gambit wasn’t the smoothest mutant on the planet. And I’m not saying Tatum is a horrendous actor… but… 1) Imagine Bella Donna at a lounge and he sees her from a distance. He does that weird thing where you lick your pointer and pinky finger then wipe your eyebrows, fixes his head band, glides over to her in his smooth trench coat, leans in, reaches his hand out and says “My name’s Jeff.” (Side note: Bella Dona will be making an appearance in the Gambit film)

2) Did we not learn anything from the G.I. Joe films? The physics of how bad those movies are is a wh…