Civil War II Goes Minority Report and Iron Man Ain’t ‘Bout That Life?

So I’m at work writing up contracts while browsing on Tumblr, reblogging ways coconut oil helps strengthen natural hair (y’all know who I am) and I see that Marvel released the plot synopsis for Civil War II. Now I’m kinda skeptical, right? Civil War changed the game for Marvel in terms of crossover events. Civil War made sense, it was a solid story, and really tore people apart. Superheroes were divided, mutants were like, “Oh nooooow y’all want to acknowledge we exist and pick a side in this? Naaaah,” and villains were out thriving. There were a lot of consequences and plot threads that made sense in the main title, as well as the crossovers into others’ individual titles.

Remember New Avengers 21 with Luke Cage fighting the hero registration literally in his living room in Harlem in front of his whole block? Gold. Peter Parker joining the registration, unmasking, THEN SWITCHING SIDES? GOLD! When Iron Man was fighting Captain America then punched him in the hip? He hit that man with a titanium fist into the hip, dude. That’s a dick move, but… GOLD! Then when Steve Rogers raided the 42 prison? GOLD! Iron Fist telling Tony Stark “I guess you got all 32 pieces of silver now, huh Judas?” GOLD BARS! THIS WAS THE MOST SAVAGE EVENT IN MARVEL HISTORY! I DON’T CARE, I DON’T CARE I DON’T FUCKING CARE!

AND NOW YOU TELLING ME WE GET A SEQUEL? Real shit, I get that it’s mostly to coincide with the Captain America: Civil War movie, but whatever. I’m interested. So back to where we started — I’m reading the premise, right?

[quote_simple]A mysterious new Marvel character comes to the attention of the world, one who has the power to calculate the outcome of future events with a high degree of accuracy. This predictive power divides the Marvel heroes on how best to capitalize on this aggregated information.[/quote_simple]

I’m getting my “mmm hmmm… okay… mmmm–hmm… oh? Say word?” on as I read it. I’m thinking oh, okay, this shit is like Minority Report… and then I see that Carol Danvers, AKA Captain Marvel, is on the side of basically stop-and-frisking cats before the crimes happen? And Tony Stark is the one against it? What? Whoooooa, arghhhhh… hmmmm. Carol was on Stark’s side last time with being pro-registration, so I can see that. But Tony? Tony going to be the mofo out here as the poster boy for the opposition?

What the fuck? Didn’t you build those massive ass level-67 Gundamn mutant-killer sentinels back in the Inversion arc, Tony? Weren’t you the one that hired villains to hunt down heroes back in the first Civil War, too? Didn’t you have Steve Rogers mind-wiped when he was in the Illuminati? MAAAAAAAAAAAAN I JUST SEEN YOU IN THE MOVIES CREATING ULTRON AND CAUSING MASS DEATH, DESTRUCTION, AND PROBABLY RAISING TAXES, TOO! AND YOUUUUUU GONNA BE THE GOOD GUY NOW? Okay, Tony. OOOOkay.

Sam Wilson may also be Captain Marvel’s side on this, which is a bit strange considering his whole falling out with S.H.I.E.L.D. and his rift with Steve Rogers due to him not agreeing with folks getting an actual fair trial. I’m lookin’ at this with the ill screw faces, but maybe he switches sides. Plus, they’re saying somebody gonna get knocked, too? The last person that died in the first Civil War was Bill Foster (Black Goliath) he was the first (and only, I think) casualty. I mean, I’m still going to read it. I’m guessing Tony being on the good side of this is due to him having learned his lesson with from the first Civil War. I’m just saying:

Damn, notice how Tony is just shooting the one with everybody. It’s going to be interesting to see how this will effect the new generation of heroes — Miles, Kamala, and Sam. Where this will put them. I can see Kamala and Carol having a falling out, too. That’s the shit I am looking forward to. Sequels are really hard to do, especially years later, but we got the gawdly Brian Michael Bendis on this, so I am hopeful.

I’m trying not to expect this to be better than the first Civil War but just to be able to stand on its own. Weeeelp, I guess we’re going to see what happens then. Also, I’m totally expecting Stark to do some fuck shit that he believes is right… which is going to cause even more massive issues.

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