Grimm Recap: A Reptile Dysfunction

Season 5 / Episode 7 / NBC

The episode starts off innocently enough: a couple drives out to Diamond Lake to rent a motorboat, fish, and post Instagram pictures that their friends will pretend to like. BUT. You’re in/near Portland; you, cute white couple, had to know this isn’t going to go well.

Nick briefs Hank, Wu, and Renard on what his meeting with Eve/Juliette was like. Since there were three dead bodies, he kind of had to. Nick shares all the information that Meisner shared with: Eve works with Misener (who Renard knows), the dead guy AKA Eve’s restaurant victim was Samuel Rankine, and that the whole thing was a hit with the delightful bonus of testing Nick.

Back at the Spice Shop, Rosalee (and Monroe) get another Seattle postmarked letter and she’s not happy about it. This time the letter suggests that the sender wants to come to Portland to see Rosalee. Monroe wants to figure out what’s going on, but Rosalee’s approach is more denial and let’s-not-talk-about-this.

On the lake, the happy couple sees a… something swimming around their boat. They’re obviously scared so they do the only logical thing: she takes a picture and he pulls a gun out of a tackle box (wtf kind of fishing is this?) and empties it into the water. He manages to not hit the thing, but piss it off enough for it to ram the boat. He falls into the water and, uh, well, so she’s a widow now.

And the thing swims off, in its red speedos, to the shore, leaving the new widow screaming at the top of her lungs. Waiting at the shore are two brothers who are not at all surprised to see a Wasser Zahne emerging from the water.

Mostly because they paid him to scare — but not kill — the couple. Uh oh. Turns out Logan, the local sea creature, doesn’t like to be shot at.

At the station, Wu is getting nowhere with ID-ing the three dead restaurant guys. Cue Trubel who basically walks in and does her impersonation of a dead guy encyclopedia. She tells them everything — names, aliases, place of birth — about the bodies, including that the target of the hit was one of the founders on Black Claw. Annnd, she lets Nick know that Meisner wants a meeting.

They go to the secret anti-Black Claw government lair where Nick sees where Trubel was living before she showed up beaten and broken at his house (note: her decorator has a prison-esque aesthetic). Meisner then delivers him to Eve who essentially chastises him for being soft along the lines of “Why you still got feelings for your dead fiance? And make no mistake, she’s dead.”

From there, they go to a war room. Meisner, Eve, and Trubel try to explain that so many of the uprisings/skirmishes/general unrest around the globe is caused by Black Claw whose ultimate goal is a world run by Wesen.

As if that wasn’t enough, Meisner takes Nick to the woods and is like, “Oh btw we got your mom’s head from your house and her body from the garbage pile the royals dumped it in and buried her here. Enjoy.” Nick needs a spa day because these hits just keep coming.

But there’s still a sea creature and dead guy out at Diamond Lake. News spreads fast and the local news shows up to cover it. Luckily, the widow has a picture of the creature and once that hits the news, notoriety and tourist dollars start to roll in for the two brother who hired the Wasser Zahne.

During questioning, Nick sees one of the brothers (Oliver, the one who isn’t psyched about the killing) woge, but the Wesen didn’t see Nick’s cold dead Grimm eyes. Advantage Nick.

Nick finds out that the Wesen brothers are in debt, but before he shows up at the Spice Shop looking for What-kind-of-Wesen-is-this advice, Trubel shows up with the all-you-need-to-know-about-this-here-shitstorm talk. So, it seems like everyone is up to speed on the uprising/Eve situation.

Back at Diamond Lake, the brothers Oliver and Wayne are arguing. Turns out Oliver has a conscience and is anti-killing people to make money and sell the family business. The other one, Wayne, finds Logan the sea creature and pays him to “do it again.”

Poor scantily clad kids drinking beer and making out by the lake. You were too good for this world.

So now there’s another body. And the lake is aflutter with activity: people are shooting pictures and guns. And buying everything with the sea monster’s face on it. Logan AKA sea monster is pissed – that’s his hard work murdering that they’re profiting from. He shakes down the brothers for half. He’ll come back to collect his money at midnight.

Grimm 2

Nick comes up with a plan: Trubel shows up, reveals that she’s a Grimm and claims that there’s a price on Logan’s head. Wayne claims to be just a pawn in Logan’s money-making scheme and, in fact, that Trubel could come back at midnight to kill him. That was really helpful of him.

Because Wayne may be the worst brother ever, he finds Logan and tells him that Oliver hired a girl to kill him, so Logan should kill him. What the hell kind of family dysfunction is this?

Obviously this ends up with Logan dead (Trubel) and Oliver arrested. Wayne, evil otter Wesen brother, is dead because you shouldn’t run away from a Grimm and jump into a lake full of sea monster hunters.

So many questions still remain: Why does Eve have wigs in every unnatural color available? Will Rosalee and Monroe join the Meisner-led anti-Black Claw team? Where’s Adalind?

Oh, and Renard and the woman who is directing Andrew Dixon’s mayoral commercials were having enthusiastically mutually consensual sex while everyone else was out fighting the good fight against Black Claw and solving mysteries.

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