Season 5 / Episode 21 / NBC

The double-episode starts with Renard’s victory. Rosalee and Monroe watched with disgust from home while Nick, Hank, Meisner, Ever, and Trubel watch from HW. Meisner lays it out: usurping the human world starts like this. Then they’ll be Black Claw cops, firefighters, judges, Starbucks baristas. No one and nothing is safe.

It’s a fire sale. I repeat: It’s a fire sale. Call Kevin Smith.

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Hank realizes that Zuri wasn’t trying to recruit him; she was trying to get information out of him. Just then Eve walks in and says one of those Eve things that makes me be like “Juliette who?” Hank asks how Zuri is doing after the interrogation session: “She’s not dead.” Perfect. Zuri gave up Bonaparte’s name because EVE’s questioning techniques are the stuff of nightmares.

Hank’s phone rings; it’s dispatch. There’s been a crime at his house. So he and Nick haul it over there.

Rosalee and Monroe’s house are still processing Renard’s win. And evidently Monroe has some built up anger in him because he goes out to confront the Black Claw pickup truck that’s been sitting outside his house for just a little too long. Of course Rosalee is pissed because in what world is it a good idea to attack the henchman sent by the most murderous organization in Portland without so much as a water gun? But she’s right by his side when he does that. And when the henchman leave without a word, she writes down their license plate (and looks a little green from the stress). So at least now Trubel and the rest of HW have something to go on.

Back at the Black Claw mansion, Rachel is still inviting death by flirting too much with the demonchild Diana’s father. She’s not the only one who isn’t feeling that. Bonaparte wants Adalind and Renard to get into their new roles as a family. I’ve never heard coitus described like that before. It sounds like Puritan phone sex. “Come Jebidiah, let’s get into our matrimonial roles while the kids are out husking the corn.” Husking the corn is clearly a euphemism here.

After the awkward AF sex peptalk, Renard and Adalind tuck Diana into bed. As soon as they close her door, she gets out the creepiest dolls I’ve seen since Saw, a boy and a girl. You see where this is going. She straight voodoos her parents into some hardcore makeout action. This girl really needs to watch this consent video because 1) No means no, and 2) chill, girls, you really don’t need to be this up in your parents’ genitalia. You may have all the magic, but you’re going to need all the therapy if you keep this up.

Before Renard can get the tip in, Adalind pushes him away, woges, and slaps him. The best part of this was the look he got when she woged.

Adalind is like “Naw. I don’t want you. Diana is doing this. How can you not know that?”
And Renard and his half-revealed abs said the best most arrogant thing, “Well I am the new mayor.”
Adalind deadass says, “I didn’t vote for you.” Yes, this.

When Hank and Nick arrive at his house, there are police everywhere. When Hank walks in, he sees two dead bodies and immediately says, “I’ve never seen these guys before.” Welp, and this is the inconvenient part of being BFFs with a Grimm. Because he killed them unapologetically last episode. But he definitely didn’t kill them in Hank’s living room. Hank just looks at him like:

Then the two detectives from North Precinct roll up on them like, “where were you last night? Because we have a report of an African American male in his 40s…” and then I tuned out for a few minutes because [insert detailed explanation of racial battle fatigue that you either understand or should go Google for yourself]

When I tuned back in Hank was in the backseat of their patrol car and Nick is calling Wu so that they can meet at the precinct.

At HW, Meisner is giving Eve and Trubel the rundown on Bonaparte. And that sounds a lot like this: we know nothing except his name and that he’s a bad man. Trubel is getting into Tony’s computer (the one that all of Hank’s phone data was downloaded onto last episode.) Monroe calls to give her the license plate number that Rosalee wrote down. Eve runs it and comes up with an address – the same address they got off of the Black Claw agents who helped (re)kidnap Diana. Hmmm.

Adalind’s maternal – or self-preservation – instinct makes her check on Diana, who is still up. She finds Diana’s dolls. And they have a very special talk (™) about not trying to force people to be together. Diana is straight like “I don’t like that chick Rachel. She’s too up on Daddy.” Adalind manages to not say “Let her have my sloppy thirds” and instead says that Diana doesn’t need to worry about that.

When Wu gets to station, Nick fills him in on the Hank situation (including his bloody part in it). They look up the “witness” who IDed Hank. She’s an adorable old lady which means she’s being blackmailed or she’s Black Claw. Only one way to tell: they head over to her house. There’s no one home, but there are signs of a struggle – like blood droplets. It’s not looking good for dear old Mrs. Miller. They split up: Nick is going to talk to the detectives that took her statement and Wu is going to sort through 911 calls.

The two cops that took Hank in decided not to take him to the station. Instead they let him out of the car in front of a house (again, I know this story) so he could “answer some questions. Antics ensue. Hank gets knocked out and dragged into the house. One of the cops calls and lets someone know that they “got him.” When he wakes up, he’s handcuffed to a chair and the two Black Claw cops are arguing about “calling him” and when “he’s” going to show up.

After getting rejected by Adalind, Renard went to Rachel’s place. He is the new mayor and the new mayor has needs! They are post-coital and Rachel is like “Welp. Time for you to go.” When Renard agrees, she casually drops the “I’m going to miss this” line. Oh. Oh, well, you had a nice, good, and clearly finite thing with her, Renard. Rachel explains the importance of family values and Adalind and not sleeping together anymore. She ends with “Get out.” My dude cannot get a break this episode. Don’t let that mayoral win go to your head, nothing but L’s the rest of the episode.

At the North Precinct, Nick is looking for the two detectives who took Hank. It’s weird because no one will help him. And, oddly, they have some type of tone in their voices. And then the woging starts. And it just doesn’t stop. “Maybe you haven’t heard, we have a new mayor.” It. Is. Like. That. Needless to say, Nick leaves without any answers.

The next morning, at the Black Claw mansion, Bonaparte calls Adalind for a sitdown about her relationship with Renard. He wants her to try harder; given the circumstances, I have no idea what he means. But whatever it is, he means it. He woges and turns in a full Zauberbiest. He melds his hands with her to show his power. Then turns her to stone, just because. So… where’s Diana? Because he’s being mighty bold with demonchild’s mama. Then he puts a wedding ring on her and tells her not to take it off (because that would hurt her children). So I guess that’s Renard’s way of proposing?

At the station, Wu tells Nick that there is no 911 call about Hank or his house. Nick tells Wu about the Wesen Wonderland that was the North Precinct. They realize that there was no paperwork in the system on Hank or his arrest. That means that there’s no way to find out where Black Claw is holding Hank. But… they still have Tony the burglar with the broken fingers. But Nick tried interrogating him before and it didn’t (exactly) work. So they bring in the big guns.

Remember that time Tony was stalking Rosalee and then showed up at the Shop while Monroe was in Germany with Nick? Yeah, Monroe remembers that time, too. So Nick, Wu, and Rosalee (who is, by the way, looking mighty satisfied) stand outside the door while Monroe talks to Tony.

And Tony gives them the same address that HW got. Hmmm. Smells like a setup.

Renard shows back up to the precinct to the expect round of congratulations. Nick is made up entirely of side-eye and a paper-thin coating of restraint. He asks Wu to keep tabs on Renard while he goes to HW.

Because Trubel and Eve are who they are, they have all the recon on the address by the time Nick gets there. With Meisner’s blessing, the three of them go to the house, kill the two cops guarding Hank, and quickly realize that this ain’t right. There should be more. Of everything.

And there is. More Black Claw, more guns, more carnage at HW headquarters. Bonaparte used Zuri to find out the location and the lured the three most dangerous fighters away so he could come through and clean house. Literally: Black Claw took computers, hard drives, and everything else they could.

Meisner is walking amidst the rubble when Renard confronts him. Mesiner chose the wrong side, he says. And, well, based on the choke out that Bonaparte delivers to Meisner immediately after that, he was right.

Lack of faith = your continued existence

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Renard, in a fit of compassion, shoots Meisner (with his service gun which seems kind, but short-sighted) because, I guess, seeing him bleed out of his eyes, ears, and nostrils was too much.

Renard’s night is about to get worse. Back at the Black Claw mansion, Bonaparte tells Rachel to get closer to Diana. No problem. She says, “kids love me.” So… um, how exactly do you want that last meal cooked?

Nick, Trubel, Hank, and Eve make back to HW. Why did they go there? No idea. Doesn’t this seems like it could be a huge trap? No? Oh. Okay. So Eve is feeling (as much as she feels anything) guilt for not seeing this coming. Trubel is crying over Meisner’s dead body. Nick decides that he’s going to assemble the Avengers: everyone separates with the plan to meet back at Nick’s later.

While they are figuring out what to salvage from the wreckage, Diana is Diana-ing. Her creepy little ass appears in Rachel’s bedroom right as she’s going to sleep. Evidently she doesn’t like the whole awkward love triangle thing. So this kid mummifies Rachel. Just wraps her body in the 400 thread count sheets until she stops breathing.

Meanwhile, Adalind is having a nightmare that she’s watching her eldest child and only child… kill by mummification. Which is to say that Diana straight Freddy Kruegered into her mom’s dream to show Adalind her Playskool’s first homicide kit.

Nick and Hank go back to the station. Nick sees Renard and just loses his shit. He goes into Renard’s office and just starts a fight. First, Hank and Wu: why didn’t you hold your boy back? There were two of you. Second, there’s a Grimm and a woge Zauerbeist throwing hands and nobody – nobody? – filming it for WorldStar? What is this?

So obviously Nick gets arrested for attacking the new Mayor which couldn’t make Bonaparte’s panties any wetter. So far, everything seems to be turning up Black Claw.

Bonaparte arranges for the Wesen cops from North Precinct to get him. A few hours and some shady paperwork later, they show up en masse to escort Nick back to Wesen PD.

Meanwhile Rosalee is in the bathroom at her place while Monroe tells her to go to bed and to go to a doctor in the morning if she doesn’t feel better because all episode she’s lowkey been like:

So you know she’s in the bathroom looking at a positive pregnancy test.

She emerges from the bathroom all full of joy and “baby I have something to tell you,” but Monroe in the window yelling at the same van is back out front. Then Trubel breaks in the back of the house. She fills them on the HW situation and is like “Let’s ride.” So they bounce while Eve takes care of the guys in the truck out front. I need you to understand that “takes care of” means “boils the blood of.” It was so unnecessary, but also kind of necessary.

Renard goes to see Rachel and doesn’t realize that he’s the first visitor at her viewing. He starts by saying “There’s something I have to tell you,” but he realizes she was dead and never finishes. I’m curious though.

Renard shows up pissed at the mansion like “who killed my side piece?” Bonaparte seems pleased. Diana is stronger than he thought. And is a murderer. Yay. Award for Creepiest Fake Uncle goes to this dude.

The crew is at the fome discussing the Nick situation. He’s definitely going to die if they don’t at least try to save him. So Eve, Hank, and Wu go to the station, while Rosalee and Monroe go to the Spice Shop to hide all the priceless Grimmorabilia. Luckily there’s an old sewer line where they can hide the books and cover them up and pray.

The station gets hit with 911 calls and is a ghost town as everyone goes to respond to them. Wu realizes that something is up so he calls Hank. There’s barely anyone there so Black Claw is definitely about to make their move. Nick’s phone is still on his desk and Wu sees it ringing; it’s Adalind. She calling with an update: she’s sorry, the baby is good, and she loves Nick.

Maybe she would have said more if Renard hadn’t chosen that moment to walk in on her. He doesn’t address the fact that he clearly heard at least a little bit of her phone conversation. Instead, he jumps right into the “Rachel is dead” and “how do we co-parent a murderer?” conversation. When he finally sees the ring and asks about it. He seems as surprised as she was that they were engaged. He stays the night in her room – on the couch – because he seems pretty shook by Bonaparte in general and doesn’t want him to think they aren’t taking the happy family thing seriously.

At the station, the North Precinct cops show up 20 deep to escort Nick to their home station. Wu tries to stop them, but they basically push him aside. Wu has all the heart in the world and doesn’t back down, so they woge. So Wu lycanthropes up. And, welp, I don’t think they were expecting that. When Hank, Eve, and Trubel show up. Wu joins them and they head out to North Precinct.

When Nick arrives he has to walk a gauntlet of woged Wesen in uniform (oh the analogies). At the end of that gauntlet is Bonaparte: he wants the Grimm ancestry book that Monroe and Rosalee have so he can convert or kill all the Grimms.

And then the fuckery begins: he force chokes Nick who “wakes up” in bed with Adalind at the fome. He gets up to check on Kelly but Kelly is gone. He can hear him crying so he follows the sound only to see a man giving Kelly to Bonaparte who gets on the elevator and leaves. Nick snaps the neck of the man who gave his kid away; it’s him And then Nick is back in the chair at the station and Bonaparte is holding Kelly. Then Kelly is gone and Bonaparte is back at it with the threats against his kid.

At the front of the station, Eve is getting information from the front desk officers in her own special way. Nick is upstairs seriously considering trading the book for his kid when Trubel and the gang brings all the pain. Eve chases Bonaparte down a hallway and they have a biest off which ends in him hurling shards of shatter-proof glass at her. She’s hurt badly enough that he escapes and Nick has to carry her out. Adalind sits straight up in bed with a feeling that Eve is dying.

While they go back to fome, Bonaparte goes back to the mansion. This muhfucka be force choking too much. He gets Adalind and forces her to tell him where Nick lives. First, Renard is watching. How are you watching someone choke out the mother of your child? I’m not gonna front like you can take him; we both know you can’t but… and this brings me to my second point: where is Diana? You too tired from killing some side chick that was in no way a threat to your family or your mom to come for the dude who stays hurting your mom? Maybe you need in addition to the anger management classes you so desperately need, you can get some time management one too.

So obviously Bonaparte rallies all his troops to go to Nick’s place to kill erryone which is unfortunate since that’s where everyone, including Monroe and Rosalee, were headed. As soon as Nick gets there, he gets the magic stick out of the tunnel to heal Eve. It works… until she has some sort of seizure.

Adalind, fresh from the choke, wakes up Diana and requests that special Diana brand creeper message. Diana manifests in Nick’s living room and says essentially my mom is sorry but she told Bonaparte where you live. In the mansion, Diana is like “I sent that text for you, but about your neck…”

At the fome, the Bonaparte Army shows up. Nick gets everyone into the tunnel and then, at the last minute, closes the door and takes his stand. Like a Grimm.

So he’s up there outnumbered and outgunned, turning over tables for cover and ready to fight. And he fights. Everyone. All the early-level henchmen. And he loses, or so it seems. He definitely got shot at least once, but he managed to recover. More than once. Oh, I see you magic stick; I see you.

In the tunnels, the gang is splitting up (which I hate). Truel stays with Eve, mostly because Eve looks like death. And by death I mean Juliette. Hank and Wu check out one tunnel while Monroe and Rosalee check out another. Which, honestly, was just an excuse to get them alone so Rosalee could tell Monroe about the upcoming Blutbau she’s making in the lab.

Up above, the end level boss shows up. Nick is face-to-face with Bonaparte. And things aren’t looking good for Nick, but there’s an old saying, a proverb if you will in my family – it’s embroidered on a few of our pillows, that is really relevant at this moment: if you touch my mother I will fucking kill you. And, well, Bonaparte touched Adalind. So when he got stabbed in the back by Renard, it was really the purple eyed kid and her dolls doing what had to be done.

Nick and Renard are face to face with only the dead body of Bonaparte between them… now what?

So many questions: Is Renard truly as horrible a person as he was this season or is some of that redeemability from seasons 3 and 5 going to come through? Is Diana going to kill Nick once she realizes that Adalind has his name written all over her notebook? Is Juliette back?

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  • Zarani Barrow (@twitwhileblack)

    “Renard goes to see Rachel and doesn’t realize that he’s the first visitor at her viewing” Golden!! Just golden!!!

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