‘Infinity War’ Fade Trade: “Yo Thanos! We Wanna Renegotiate These Terms and Conditions”

Avengers: Infinity War. WE STILL NOT OVER THAT FADE AWAY DON’T JUDGE US! I SAID DON’T JUDGE US! But imagine, if you will an ideal world. A perfect, glorious world where we could make a trade and bring back your favorite Avenger. But how, you ask? Well, since we’re living in The Worst Timeline, we’re gonna propose a trade. We give one trash ass person or several trash ass persons to Thanos and he’ll give us back one of our faves. Simple enough, right? And we’ve got plenty of folks we’re ready to toss into the abyss. We present to you, the FTA: The Fade Trade Association. BYE, MUTHAFUCKAS! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Khadjiah: In the world of Thanos where our resources are limited and the world must come to a halt, I, Khadjiah, a delegate of the FTA would like to offer up that two-for-one deal. First, we’re giving you a brain surgeon that always sounds like he is buffering. Yes, you heard me correctly, Ben Carson.

Most folk side-eye Ben Carson as a hobby. Ben is a brain surgeon. Trump put him in charge of Public Housing. That’s literally giving a doctor a scalpel to sweep the floor. Might make a few scratches but for the most part it’s unsanitary. We can’t be having folks undermine public housing, especially when they didn’t grow up in public housing. Therefore, Ben Carson, and a free unsanitary scalpel will also come with the world’s most annoying ride-or-die. Oh yes, KellyAnne Conway. One of many in the political realm that could catch the fade. Think about this: you on a planet spree…