Season 2/ Episode 1/ HBO
**Recap going up, wave them hands high/
Spoilers in your face, tell’em boy bye**
Okay… wait. Don’t tease me like that. As soon as I saw Issa sitting with Lawrence, my spirit was like “nah, issa set up.” My spirit don’t never lie. The true opening to the new season is a montage of Issa on random dates with brothas she done swiped right on. Shit is hilarious, especially when she tries to curve homeboy while rockin’ a sweatshirt and some flat twists, which in my opinion can be the equivalent of straight backs, cornrows on grown men, whatever you call ’em. I’m typically rockin’ flat twists to bed after a 12 hour wash day or when I’m grocery shopping or just ain’t about life.
When they hit that “why are you still single” question that all single folks hate, we get that day dreaming, b-girl side of Issa that you love to hate. Them wackass raps give me life, honey! When she started making a beat on the table with her knife and fork I just knew it was 9th grade up in the cafeteria again. Drop that beat, Issa.
Awww… that “I’m so dead inside… I cry everyday” line hurt. She straight up missing her man and occupying her time with some dudes that don’t seem to be any more interesting than Lawrence. I feel you, girl. Been there. Done that. Cue an awkward water glass spill and we can see Issa ain’t changed much since season 1.
Molly, tho? Looks like Molly done got that ass in some therapy. Can we talk about her therapists office, that artwork and that glorious ass bookshelf for a second? Like, damn?! Why my therapists office don’t look like that? African art and wood carvings in abundance. Hand carved wooden Jesus looking down upon the sessions from the mountaintop bookshelf with natural light shining in to make you feel at home spilling your guts out to ya fly granny with the fade. Molly ain’t holding back no dollas with her therapist, but she holding back that truth, tho. I wonder what her benefits package is looking like. Molly still Molly. Vintage leather seats and a therapist with a salt and pepper brush cut and making her open up no time soon. Kudos for getting in that chair, sis. That’s a big step.
When we see Molly and Issa getting them steps in, we find out that Molly has been through some therapists. Sounds about right. She hits on the truth about “going to therapy while Black.” It’s hard talking about your Black life with someone who don’t know shit about that. I’ve been there, girl. Issa ain’t miss a beat bringing up that good insurance, either. Man… affordable healthcare for all! Shits the realest. Molly so focused on that self care that she ain’t even let a pair of grey sweatpants distract her from her hydration. Okay girl. You focus while the rest of us stay thirsty…
Issa gets real about her recent date nights. How wack that shit is. How she misses Lawrence. Dude ain’t even been back to get his shit? Yeah, Issa. He big mad. Molly comes through with the single blues bible quotes, tho. It’s okay to want him back and yeah… “Dudes always want you back when they know you doing good without them.” [praise hands] Real shit.
Okay… Before I get to the next scene, smoke gotta be popped. This the smoke you pop when the thread is about to turn into a reel of thirst or something done hit a skinemax level of sexy.
DAMN ZADDY! Lawrence still putting in work at the bank. Did we just pick up where we left off last season? Him and Tasha gettin’ it in. I wasn’t ready. Shit, Lawrence wasn’t ready. He was like “You said daddy with a Z?” LOL! He don’t even know. That’s some real ass shit, homie. You know what, lemme shut up. Anywayz. He still goofy af, too. Zommy? Forreal my dude? Nah. He may be putting in work, but it sounds like he’s trying to keep it part time. Scheduling Fridays after work instead of the next day? Homegirl, hit em back with the maybe. Don’t seem like Lawrence is trying to make Tasha a priority just yet. I guess we’ll see.
Oh, so Lawrence is still on his homeboy’s floor, tho? DUDE. Before I get into that. Can we talk about the trash ass tv that they watch on this show? Shit is hilarious? What is this? This ain’t Underground my dude? Is this slave’s name Ninny? Bruh. Trash tv or nah, Lawrence was straight up disrespectful blowing up the air mattress during his homie’s tv and popcorn session. Talking about he seen some spots? If Lawrence is looking for a place the way he was looking for a job at the beginning of season one, it may be a minute. You ain’t even got the air mattress with the built in compressor, homie? Lemme stop. I’m petty. Lawrence’s boy did call him out on not actually dating Tasha or taking her anywhere but to bed. Lawrence doing the weekend lover shit? Wow. Talkenbout “no pressure” and Chad hit him with “pressure busts pipes.” Homies as accountability partners be so trill.
Meanwhile, Issa back at the crib on some “Swipe, Trash TV & Chill” shit that ain’t really what she’s feeling. Homegirl is all up in her feels and for good reason. That shot with her glancing at Lawrence’s old side of the bed hurt me, dammit. I know she messed up last season and I wasn’t expecting them back together, but damn. If you’ve ever gotten used to someone else in your bed and then one day they’re not. That perpetual absence of a bed-mate can fuck you up, no joke.
The next day, Issa and her colleague Frieda are back to shooting they shot with tutoring. These kids ain’t paying them not a damn mind. This scene is showing some of the craziness that happened in under-resourced public school buildings. That includes the privileged folks who want to make a difference with poor kids but get mad when they can’t get the teacher to learn English in a week. Yeah. These other coworkers of her’s stay on my nerves. While Issa and Frieda are championing teenage angst and overburdened teachers, Molly is at work on her attorney thug-thizzle doing what she does best only to find out, by happenstance, that her white male counterpart is bringing in more money (for presumably the same or less work). I see you gender pay gap with yo ugly misogynistic wack ass. Molly ’bout to get you, sucka.
Issa. Issa. Issa. Don’t be that petty, girl. Checking the mail before work to find a jury summons for Lawrence; so you think this your chance, huh? He gotta get this mail, but… Girl, that don’t mean he’s going to want to see you to get it. We’ll see. Wait. Wait. Before we get into that, why are Issa’s neighbors so trill? LOL! Gangsta ass g-maw yelling through the screen door. Old folks don’t play with that mail, honey. She probably sitting in her housecoat waiting for her grandson to check the mail box for her social security check. She don’t trust Wayne Brady’s coffee in the morning singing ass, either? Okay, Ms. Trudy. You’s a real one.
Now Issa’s calling up Molly to do what she does best. Plottin’. Girl. When you gonna learn? She scheming to get Lawrence over there. Wine down? Plus one party? Nah, boo. You tryna get ya mans back. I love how Molly just hangs up on Issa when she’s had enough, though. That’s some love when you can do that and still be friends the next day, cause me and my friends ain’t down for that shit. If we hang up on one another, we fightin. Real talk. I really just want to smack that phone out of Issa’s hand, tho. I’m not saying don’t try to patch things up, but this ain’t it sis.
Issa finally gets to “We Got Ya’ll” (I can’t tell you how much I hate mouthing the name of her workplace, the amount of appropriation in it has to be on some high fructose corn syrup levels of BS). She and Frieda are for the kids. They are straight up trying to hold on and work things out for the kiddos at E. 41st High, while them slim shadies across the table are tryna move on up. Ugh. I’mma give it to Frieda. She really seems to have her heart in the right place. Of course this is when Lawrence texts back. Issa!!!! Don’t get too excited, mama. Keep it calm, boo. She kept calm enough to make a plea to her boss on behalf of that school one more ‘gain and not miss the prolific ass motivational quote from the most honorable West Coast homie Ice Cube:
Fast forward to Molly at a company party sippin and engaging with co-workers until the well meaning curious white man gotta ask if the cold of Chicago is in direct relation to the violence. [insert Congresswoman Maxine Waters making all of the faces] I’mma bout ready for Molly to get the hell up outta this firm, forreal. Molly can duck a horrible whitesplaining like a pro and just keep it moving. Moving on she did, right to getting to the bottom of this damn gender pay gap situation. She slid real quick into a raise conversation with white boy with the extra dollar signs to catch the tea on this pay check thing. Just like I thought, he ain’t worth a pack of Pall Malls. Ole misogynistic little frat boy on some “closed mouth don’t get fed” type shit. Molly, just stop talking to this dude and hit that Congresswoman eye roll.
I love a good Issa mirror montage. Her outfits are killin the game and that “jury booty” dress is serving even if her game is mad wackamole and cheese. The “Fifth Day of Kwanzaa” outfit plus the “can we just pray together” line had me on the floor. We’ve all practiced something in the mirror before. I don’t care if it was a job interview, a first date or a last date; scenes like this be the realest goofy shit in the world. On to the wine down. Kelly looking fly and Molly’s soror and her husband stay doing the most. Wait, Issa has a brother? Who knew? He cute, too, but Molly ain’t having it with Issa bringing Amal as her plus one. Every time that doorbell rings, Issa is looking mad suspect and Molly can tell. But when she opens the door and it cuts to Lawrence, then we see Tasha opening the door and him asking her if she’s ready?????? Awwwwww, damn! My man ain’t go to pick his mail up from Issa, he went to pick up Tasha. #issadate
Instead of finding out he’s got jury duty, Lawrence is chilling with Tasha at a restaurant and home girl is looking more than pleased to have his attention. Good for him for finally taking her out. Lawrence brings up the need to move and his delay with getting his shit out of his old place. Tasha is doing the lean in and asking what the deal is without prying too hard. I can respect that, but I can’t say that I wouldn’t have dug a little deeper before ordering more food. Issa is still at the crib watching the door like winter is coming while Molly spills the tea on her salary situation and Kelly is…. well, Kelly is keeping it all the way real and robbing Peter to pay Pauletta with her clients tax returns. Hashtag reparations. Hashtag don’t tell nobody or she gone go to full jail. Yes, full jail. While all of this is going down, Lawrence sends that good “I ain’t coming through” text and Issa is in her feels. Molly spots it and the balcony confessions ensue.
Molly gets the low down and Issa throws that quote about dudes wanting you at your best in her face as her reasoning for the plot. It was her inspiration, but Molly ain’t hearing it. The Kelly comes outside lit off that Carlos Rossi and starts inviting the neighborhood tenderonies up to the wine down. Aww shit. It’s getting lit forreals now. They rollin. Bumpany comes through the door and Miles is tryna holla at Kelly bause she bute and she thick. One of his bousins rigs up the iPod or phone and starts to b-walk in her living room. Shit is mad brazy, yo. It turns into a whole set with neighbors in robes, night scarves and Hillman College tees. I ain’t seen no shit like this since 1999. Between the liquor, doobies passing, b-walking and necking happening in this place a fire breaks out in the kitchen. Everybody leaves and Issa, Molly and Amal are the only ones left to put it out. That shit went south real quick. Poor Issa.
Next day: Issa and Frieda got snacks in abundance for them kids. Where in the hell they found habenero Oreos is beyond me, although I’mma assume Wal-Mart or Target ’cause they have them flavors on lock. Kids coming in, okay, this looks promising. Issa needs and good day after last night. But….Damn. They tryna do work and them kids just gottem for the snacks. Looks like Issa is giving up on E. 41st. Damn, girl. She can’t win for losing in this episode.
Speed all the way to the evening and Issa’s cleaning alone, still picking up shit from the night before and there’s a knock on the door. LAWRENCE?? Home girl is in a mock turtlneck tee and boy shorts and this is when dude wants to show up to get his mail and shit outta the bathroom. Forreal, homie? This shit is awkward af untl Lawrence breaks the ice by asking about the old Frank Ocean pillow. They share a laugh over Issa’s clumsiness and it looks like he’s leaving… Wait. Wait…. what? Did Lawrence just slam the door? He’s kissing Issa. They hit the sofa and go to work? What in the good Grace Jones just happened here?
Somebody call Tyrone and grab my shit. I just literally the got hell up and left the room. I’m done. Nope. I died. It was a swift death, one that I did not see coming. Death by broke neck cause I just did a bajillion double takes. This wasn’t even break up to make up sex. This was so unemotional. I’m sitting here holding my head like Issa. Did dude just got wash off in the bathroom? Did he say he has to go and kiss her on the cheek? Did he just up and leave?? I want you to read and reread all of that in your highest octave, cause that’s how I’m talking right now. How does this shit even end, yo?
It ends with Issa sitting on the sofa with contemplative eyes and a soft smile that trickles across her face.
Whaaaaaaatttttt???????? [dead, came back, died again and I’ll stay day until Ep 2]
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