Into The Badlands Recap: Tiger Pushes Mountain

Season: 2 / Episode: 1 / AMC ***Spoilers be walkin’ up on the flames singing MJ’s ‘So you want to be startin’ something?’*** Maaaaaaan, listen. Six Months later and gotdamn a lot of shit has changed fam! Your boy Sunny out here backpacking with the shackles under long gone highways. This shit look like the south side of Mad Max. And this is OUTSIDE of the Badlands?!?! Nah fam, if this the future, let me perform seppuku now and be reincarnated in the Horizon Zero Dawn future, yo. Bordeaux Mines aka the third year of a Trump Presidency is TERRRRRRRRIBLE, fam. They getting the pep talk that they ain’t gonna do shit here but dig, sleep, occasionally, and then die. One of the captives starts coughing and a guard says he’s ‘defective,’ so the little boss man gives him the code red. DUDE. Cuz your boy coughing. We in a dirt hole man, y’all non-clippers acting like it ain’t dusty down here? I gotta die because y’all ain’t reinvented the lozenge yet. NOBODY HAS ALERGIES IN THE FUTURE?!?!

Dude is about to get that Picker’s mercy, but Sunny, being the morally superior mass murderinging people’s champ, said nah, not on my watch fam. GOTDAMN SUNNY. I ain’t even finished poppin’ my popcorn yet and you already out here giving out the part-time seasonal, I just want to pay for this insurance on the car my parents got me, work?! I say part-time cuz your boy can’t even use his hands or turn his head without putting the swivel on his whole upper body. Sonny out here giving that gallows work….