Why Didn’t Y’all Tell Me That Jennifer Garner Out Here Making The Chopper Sing in ‘Peppermint?!’

  • Look man, it was supposed to be a normal Sunday. I was tired as hell, no ambition whatsoever on the Lord’s day, nahmean. But then I seen this shit in my youtube subscription and said wait: is that a picture of Jennifer Garner in a tactical vest rockin’ the Antiope SMG? Am I getting Alias vibes? Man, let me press play on this shit.

    Maaaaan, listen. They got your girl out here, goddess of the pronounced cheekbones, Affleck survivor with a steady hand out here handling her fuckin’ business. Garner plays Riley North (dope ass name just for the record), who’s whole family was killed in some drive-by…I guess. Cuz those things happen to happy white family units all the time. But ok. After the system failed her (welcome to the club Riley) and the murders get off, your girl drop squads herself. She off the grid, doing her John Wick training in the dark. No social security numbers, but all about putting these numbers on the board.

    Now I mean, I love a good vigilante shooter like the next violence addicted consumer, but we gotta hash some shit out. On one hand, Garner joins the ranks of, lets say, not particularly young, one person army killas like Jolie, Denzel, Bruce Willis, etc. That’s aiight, you might have bad knees when you doing them stunts but I still fucks with it. But what we not gonna do is ignore she joining the ranks of the white revenge soldier carving through Black and brown folks like Thanksgiving dinner. So yes, I’m rooting for some corrupt white folks to get equally murked in this joint.

    But anyways…I don’t know how good this shit gonna be, but Garner proved she got them action chops like a decade and a half ago, and you know they say that shooting a silenced pistol is just like riding a bike. You never really forget how to do that shit.

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    • William is the Editor-In-Chief, leader of the Black Knights and father of the Avatar. With Korra's attitude, not the other one.

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