Valkyrie (MCU) is the King of New Asgard and all the queer, Black powerhouse you need in a fight. Brunnhilde (yeah, that’s her government) will serve these hands on the battlefield and usher her opponent’s soul to Valhalla to guzzle mead and talk smack to the deceased. On paper, the Valkyrie is a broken fighting character. The last member of an elite Asgardian special op fighting force with all the experience in tactics, hand to hand combat, (flying) horseback combat, edged weapons mastery. This is someone who trained with the Hulk in his gladiator phase. They tripped the Hulk! By tapping the back of his knee! Clearly, Valkyrie has the strength of Thor and way more skills! Hey, they might even be too OP for this competition.
For the record Valkyrie is godly, even on paper they are definitely the one to beat. Keep in mind that Asgardians are already vastly superior to humans in regards to strength, agility, durability, speed, etc. Even then, Valkyrie’s skill set and attributes tower over most Asgardians. The feats speak for themselves: They overpowered Loki in a 1-on-1 knife fight; knocked down The Hulk in a brief sparring match; caught wild bodies fighting Thanos’ army in Endgame, and actually pierced a Chitauri Leviathan’s armor with their spear. [feats courtesy of MCU Fandom Wiki]
Vixen been needed to have her flowers handed to her and the time is NOW. What do you need to know about Mari Jiwe McCabe other than that she can whoop your ass with the traits of any animal on Bast’s green Earth? What you know about The Red? About being the chosen avatar of the African trickster god Anansi? From the micro to the macro, Vixen can go plain elephant or gorilla crush, or she can get elegant with the savagery and channel a Rhinoceros Beetle and gain 850 times her proportional strength (more than Spider-Man!). Nevermind that Anansi can shift Mari’s gift to mimicking metahuman powers.
Vixen’s true gift is a level of control over the morphogenic field (called “The Red” in DC Comics). This implies that Mari can channel the essence and abilities of any living thing, all at once. Mari’s power apparently gives her an intuition regarding animals, their abilities, and how they might be useful in a given situation. She has channeled the powers of extinct animals, domesticated animals, mutated animals like (Gorilla Grodd), and even mystical beasts (like dragons). Vixen has put some dope modifiers on some animal abilities: using the bio-luminescence of the Hatchet and Angler fish to shoot a laser-like beam from her head. Vixen can design S-tier abilities, like when she used the regenerative abilities of flatworms to reconstruct her entire body or using the flight speed of a Housefly to break Mach 2. [feats courtesy of DC Fandom Wiki]
Darli Dagger (Samurai Showdown)
Darli “I Came To Drink Rum and Catch Some Bodies” Dagger will wreck anyone in her way with the utmost pirate swag. Her last name is Dagger fam, it was over before it started. This melanated ship builder carries a sawtooth sword, a hammer, a drill, and an extra-large can of whoop-ass. In Samurai Shodown the weapon makes the warrior.
Darli is not that gal. No one else in that game can put their sword down, casually saunter across the fight line, and mollywhop their opponent with a one-hit kill called “The Darli Dagger Punch”. Oh, but Darli can. She will end you, drink a barrel of liquor over your body, and flex the carpentry skills to build your casket. Don’t @ her.
Nubia is the embodiment of everything you fear about throwing hands with Wonder Woman but add to that the realness of being a Black woman. Nubia comes replete with all of the gifts of the goddesses that all Amazons: enhanced intellect, strength, durability, stamina, agility, and microbraids. And given the way L. L. McKinney is writing her, she could probably slap box your neighborhood OG to a standstill. Skilled in all the Amazonian warrior ways, you can add archery, equestrian, CQC (close quarters combat), and swordplay mastery. Of her many feats, the only one that matters is this: she fought Wonder Woman to DRAW. You know Diana got them hands. Nubia has those hands, plus a popping curl texture. No matter how you slice it Nubia is looking like a balanced breakfast over here and ain’t nobody got the stomach for it.
Luvander (Scales and Scoundrels)
Luvander is a mystery wrapped in an enigma folded like origami in the shape of a puzzle. They are from a place straight out of a renaissance fair, where things are pastel-colored and softly cel-shaded. Luvander doesn’t quite fit in, because they’re a f-ing DRAGON. Luvander has magic-using on deck, but rarely ever uses them because her hands WORK. Any edged weapon you can imagine from the armory of Helm’s Deep, they have mastered in their ten thousand years of life. Oh yeah, if that doesn’t work, she can turn into a whole ass DRAGON! In her Urden form, Luvander has even more well-defined magic, adding flight, mass, speed, strength, and a staple of dragon-ness: fire breathing. If Luvander could rap, she would’ve ran with them Ruff Ryders with the name Drag-On (gotta rep the Bronx when I can).
Jesse Faden (Control)
Jesse Faden does just as her name suggests. She hands out the fades like the hood barber with the most popping chair in the shop. Jesse is the enigmatic ‘parautilitarian’ protagonist of the game Control, wherein she gets busy as a newly minted bureaucrat with a memo to put hands on anyone from any dimension. Jesse “Did Someone Order the Fade” Faden comes to the table with tactile (touch you) and projectile (throw things and energy) telekinesis. With that, she can Launch (throw things), Seize (take psychic control of enemies), Shield (force field), Evade (telekinetic dodge), and Levitate (catch telekinetic flight). Nobody is touching Jesse; Ms. Faden if you’re feeling froggy.
Furthermore, Jesse don’t carry no Nordstrom’s rack piece with her, no, Jesse stays strapped with Thee Service Weapon. A living gun capable of transforming from a simple pistol to shotgun to rocket launcher to full-out railgun. The Director is strapped with a freaking Megatron/Galvatron two-in-one for the hyper combo finish KO. Hold her calls while she goes to work.
Click here to check out the other teams in the March Multimedia Madness 2021!
Cover Image via Wallpaper Access.com