New Star Wars: The Force Awakens Trailer Debuts… Can Anyone Spare a Tissue?

I never really got into the Halloween season — I’m not a fan of the horror genre and for religious reasons I was never allowed to dress up and go out trick-or-treating like other kids. So about a decade ago I started my own tradition that every Halloween shall thenceforth be devoted to giving myself cavities as I park myself in front of the television set to watch the original Star Wars trilogy on VHS. Star Wars is undoubtedly such a rich part of nerd culture, and with the current comic flying off shelves, all of the cool merch coming out, and, of course the release dates for not only Episode 7 but also Star Wars: Battlefront rapidly approaching it’s safe to say Star Wars fever is at an all-time high. And then over the weekend we were BLESSED with the official poster for Episode 7 in all it’s gorgeously illustrated glory. Allow me to break down a few of the highlights that caught my eye:

Wherefore Art Thou, Luke?

After the poster debuted over the weekend, the question on everyone’s mind had to be “Where the f@#! is Luke!” While yes, the hero of the original trilogy doesn’t appear here, Mark Hamill does get second billing in the credits listing. Also, considering the second teaser featured Hamill doing voiceover work and also being spotted on set, I think the snub was intentional and we can all rest a little easier that we’ll be seeing Luke in some capacity.

Rey & Finn Are Here To Stay, Get Used To It.

While yes, there are *ahem ahem* SOME PEOPLE who aren’t jumping for joy over the film featuring an African American and Woman leads, the sight of Finn (John Boyega) and Rey (Daisy Ridley) posted front and center on the latest poster has everyone else ready to don rain gear to protect themselves from the white tears on the way to their computer to pre-order tickets. More room for us, asshats.

A Wild Maz Kanata Appears!

Not much is known about Lupita Nyongo’s character Maz Kanata at this point beyond the fact that she’s a space pirate. It will be interesting to see how she fits into The Force Awakens. Fans can finally get a good look at her here as she makes her long-awaited debut, pictured to the left of R2-D2 and above BB-8.

Gwendoline Christie: You Win Some, You Lose Some.

Near the bottom of the poster is Captain Phasma (Gwendoline Christie) and her ranks of Stormtroopers. On one hand, her cool, sleek design is helping her become an early fan favorite heading into the film. On another hand, Gwendoline Christie’s name appears nowhere on the credits. All the other top actors are listed, including Andy Serkis and Max Von Sydow, who don’t even appear on the poster. What’s up with that?

Wait A Minute…Is That?

You guys PLEASE TELL ME I’m not seeing things… what the hell is that in the top-right corner? While it may be unclear what that massive object is, fan speculation think it’s the new First Order home base, Starkiller Base. Whatever it is, it clearly took some design nods from the Death Star.

Now that I’m done fanboying over the poster let’s move on to our main event.

Ladies and Gentleman, the newest Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer.

Shut up! I’m not crying, YOU are!

Star Wars: The Force Awakens hits theaters December 18th.

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