It’s here! The final piece of the Skywalker saga arrives this December and on this day we are gifted with a teaser trailer for Episode IX!
There is always something special about Star Wars and its desert locales. So when the trailer jumps off in the midst of an endless desert, you just know some realness about to go down. Rey’s controlled breaths open the trailer. She rocking that all white Jedi outfit with the Wesley Snipes in the 90s collar. She’s looking like she been in the dojo just training. The camera pans slowly down to her waist; where she is holding the Han Solo-issued gat from Episode VIII on one hip and Anakin’s lightsaber on the other! The whole time this is happening we hear the familiar rising whine of Industrial Light & Magic’s vehicle sound effect roaring across the sands.
Rey eyeballs the approaching speeder, pops her lightsaber, shifts position facing away from it and starts booking it! Is she playing lightsaber chicken with a landspeeder?!? No, she’s playing lightsaber chicken with a TIE Interceptor! You know, just a space-ready craft, the ship that Vader used to whip through the cosmos like a Honda Accord! Yeah, that one. We see some familiar gloved hands accelerate the ship right before Rey hits the bullet time butterfly kick, like, is she really about to battle to whole ass space fighter with her bare hands?!? Yes.
Then we catch up with your boy Kylo Ren, catching bodies as per usual, but now he’s rolling through red-tinted woods with some Stormtroopers putting the two-handed lightsaber to everything in his way. Kylo is getting in touch with his inner Spartan, clearly. Meanwhile, his helmet is being restored to its former emo greatness, as if to recall his adoration for his grandfather, Anakin. I’m sensing a theme here.
We get the montage of fanfic’s finest Finn and Poe Dameron, looking fly and focused. BB8 and his new droid homie Dio giving the best digital side-eye money can buy. Chewie doing his best to co-pilot the Millenium Falcon through hyperspace alongside Billy Dee Williams as Lando Calrissian! Let that sink in, it works 60% of the time – every time. JJ Abrams is going for the nostalgic jugular.
After that, we get the secondary montage of some of the last footage we get of Carrie Fisher’s Leia hugging it out with Rey (with the one thug tear) and then the close up of the medal that the Rebels gave Han, Luke, and Chewie in Episode IV. I’m not crying, you’re crying!
Then we see the next-gen squad surveying a vista from a cliff into a dark sea. In the far distance, past the towering waves, are the giant broken pieces of The Death Star! Now I’m all in a glass case of emotions, I’m hyped, but I’m afraid, I’m hyped that I’m afraid. In the milliseconds that the screen goes dark, my mind is blown and overwhelmed. Then. Then?!? I hear Carrie Fisher solemnly say, “No one’s ever really gone.” Again, I’m not crying, you are! Then?!? I hear that laugh, filled to the brim with unlimited power. The cackle of Palpatine!
I’m a mess at this point, just mop me and my emotions up off the floor of the Tatooine Cantina. But wait, there’s more; the title reads Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. I’m like, wait, are we calling force users ‘Skywalkers’ now? Is Rey a Skywalker like Kylo is? Are they related? Am I crying? Maybe! Either way, this teaser trailer is one for the community to mull over for months to come.